A Waking Nightmare
by Aki-kun
Summary: Gamzee attends a Mental Institution where he suffers abuse of all different kinds. All he knows is being alone. And he likes it that way. But one day, a young man named Tavros Nitram is sent to room with him, and that's where things start becoming hectic. Gamzee begins to fall in love, where he thought such a thing never existed. Friendship then Gam/Tav later
1. Chapter 1

…... …... …... …... …... …...

Soft breaths puff into my ears, warming my chilled body. Arms wrap around that shaking exterior to quell addition and hunger, the hell inside, begging for mutiny, for rebirth, to let go and shave away the skin on the outside.

Only he can calm me when I become someone who is not me, someone who only wants to hurt anything it comes in contact with, anything it sees. Something not quite human, something unearthly,

dangerous.

Why does he stay? Why, when everyone has left my life? Not wanted to come close, to help me.

He comforts me on nights like this, brushing hair away from muddied eyes, stroking scarred thighs with a palm, calming my fury, calming the demons in my head.

The only one I want. No one else can have him. No one else can take him away.

And that's what I am, _protective._

Protective of my bro, the one I hold close each night.

What was I like before I met him...?

Closing my eyes, shutting out the pain, don't want to remember, don't want to remember,

MY FEAR MY AGONY MY INSANITY MY INSTABILITY

But it still lurks.

I am... insane.

Hands clench at the faded shirt in front of me, nuzzle into it's softness.

Let the tears fall, he tells me. You're allowed to be scared. Just know I'm here.

Oh, god.

Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod

I'm addicted to this...

Waking Nightmare.

**A Homestuck Fanfiction by Aki-kun**

**(I do not own Homestuck)**

_One Month Previous_

"Wake up."

"I said, wake up."

"Hey."

"..."

"Goddamn it, Makara."

Blurry eyes open slowly, my head spinning from my most recent dream. I push myself up onto my arms, and sit up, looking at the man who always comes to give me my pills in the mornings.

I know by now to do what he says, experience telling consequences will follow if I don't.

A Mental Institution, as they may call it, and as nice looking as it is on the outside, the staff seems to find themselves in a pitiable condition... and ah, finding ways to vent on the "patients" is not uncommon.

Today is not the day, it seems, and Mr. Vantas seems to be in a halfway decent mood.

I smile, showing off my abnormally long canines.

"What's up, motherfucker? You seem to be chill today..." I yawn and stretch my long arms, breaking the line of sunlight that peeks into my room through the curtains.

He seems to be irritated by my attitude, but this morning, I was feeling particularly tired at the moment, so I had no fucks to give.

He stomped over, fuming, and instantly, I regretted my carefree demeanor.

At the speed of light, he reached out and grabbed my cheeks, pinching. His face was inches from mine, slightly red from anger. His teeth were grit and his eyes were dilated.

All in all, it was terrifying.

He spoke slowly, softly, a dangerous purr.

"Gamzee Makara... You're not as tough as you look... are you, now...?"

He smirks, eyes lidded, and I look into his eyes, filled with fear, I'm sure.

He digs a hand into my shoulder, then lifts it to my chilled neck, bringing goosebumps, then stroking up to my hopeless mane of black hair, I swallow, close my eyes, shaking, hoping he would finish, finish fast, and leave...

He coos my name, and I shudder internally.

"Yesss, that's right... You need someone to show you who's boss, hmmmn? You need to know how worthless you really are, you little shit..."

The last word is said harshly, as he bites my neck, and I cry out under his touch, his horrible touch that sickens me, warms me, and suddenly I snap.

Lashing out, he is suddenly thrown away from me, as I stay, shivering on the bed, unsure of what would happen next.

_What just happened?_

"Fuck...!" I hear, and flinch, drawing away from the man.

A knock on the door silences his rage, and he stands up quickly, the door revealing my good friend, John.

Mr. Vantas seems irked by his appearance, and John takes in the scene, analyzes it, realizes.

He looks at me with pity in his eyes before he tells the man that I am needed down at the main office.

I am excused, and he leaves the room, so I can get dressed, and I stare at the door for a minute or so after it is closed behind him before I slump back against the wall and let a lazy grin spread over my face.

It isn't long before the laughter starts.

Raging, uncontrollable.

It's just too funny for me to bear.

I slap a hand to my forehead, and begin to stop laughing at last.

Sighing, I decide to actually leave my barren room, and pull on some random articles of clothes I don't really care about before leaving.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Walking down the hallway, I see that not many people are up yet.

A few here and there, but not anyone I care about. Not that there is anyone who talks to me, other than John.

My personality and appearance both scare people away.

But both are just facades, hiding my true self.

But who wants to be weak?

The clown makeup is so that people will leave me alone, like I want.

But John didn't give a shit about what I looked like. He stayed by my side, and that I was grateful for.

He was the only person who I halfway cared for, respected.

Dorky as he may be, it was part of his enjoyable nature.

But, still...

What did they need me down at the office for?

Usually you didn't get called down there unless something was very, very, wrong. Ihad been called down only once when they came to tell me that...

I stopped in the middle of the hallway, rigid.

A few kids stared at me, interested.

I stared blankly ahead for a few moments, then, gripped my arms so tightly that my fingernails broke through skin, and I saw someone cringe out of the corner of my eye.

Suddenly, I took off running. People stared more than ever, but I didn't care. Ran past them all, ran, ran, until I was in the bathroom, and as soon as I hit the stalls, I threw up, heaving, and heaving.

Soon I was finished, sweat running down my face, but I just got up shakily and made my way to the sink, where I gargled some water, spit it out.

I stood up and made my way down to the office, still shaking.

Reaching it, I was pointed into the principal's room by one of the staff who looked extremely bored with a purple streak in his styled hair.

I walked in slowly, a little tentatively, not sure what I was expecting.

Walking in, the first thing I noticed was that it was a much nicer room than the other parts of the Institution. The floor was thickly carpeted and a rich ebony table was set up in the middle. Plants lined the walls, along with pictures with writing on them. A large window opened up to a balcony and deck overlooking the outside world. One in which I had not been outside of in years.

The principal, Mr. Captor, was an intimidating man. He wore multicolored shades and had strange skin with a gray-ish tint to it and sharpened fingernails.

He never spoke for some reason, and always had his assistant, (who insisted we call her by her first name), Kanaya, talk for him.

However, this time, there was a new character in with these two strange adults.

_Hello, _I thought. _Who's this motherfucker?_

He was short compared to me, but then again, I was a solid six feet. Creamy skin stretched over a skinny figure, but not quite lanky, and I was.

Oh, well. He would be in no time, what with the stress delivered here.

His dark eyes were heavily lashed, and his expression showed he was shy by nature. His hands nervously gripped the ends of his rumpled jacket.

He had a messy sort of mohawk-thing going on, which was pretty cute.

In fact, everything about this guy was cute, from his figure, to his expression, to his look. Man, he was like some sort of a motherfuckin' teddy bear. You just wanted to squeeze him.

Kanaya cleared her throat, and I turned to her, but my mind was still on the little dude.

"So... Ehm... Mr. Makara. This is going to be your new room mate, Tavros Nitram. Since everyone else was assigned a room mate, you are the only one left with an extra spot, and ah... er... Yeah. So he'll be sharing your living space from now on."

Here she pauses.

"Please... try to get along, you two."

I give her a grin, lidded eyes hidden slightly from my mess of hair.

"What do you mean, sis? I'll get along with Tavbro, no sweat... We'll be best motherfuckin' friends, 'ain't that right, Tavvy?"

He looked stunned, then flustered all in a few seconds.

How motherfucking cute.

"Ah... er... me? I mean... yeah... Best friends, sure... okay..."

He seemed to have some sort of an insecurity issue, but, hey, man, that was cool, that was cool...

"Heh, c'mon, Tavbro, let's split. I'll show you where you'll be crashing tonight, and, uh, probably for a while, y'know?"

He laughed nervously.

This was gonna be so motherfuckin' awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

…... …... . .. …... …. …...

We made our way back down the hallway to our room, people staring at we went.

The hallways seemed to be more crowded now, and even though I was used to being stared at, I felt slightly uncomfortable.

Tavros kept looking around and ducking his head when people looked at him, blushing and pulling his shirt down with his hands, clenching his fingers.

I turned, and met his shy gaze with a lazy grin.

"Hey, man, don't be nervous... There's nothing to be afraid of here, Tavbro. Just chill and have a motherfuckin' awesome time..."

What. The hell. Was that.

I was lying through my teeth. God, I was such a bad person. Nothing to be _afraid _of?

This is the place fears are spawned from.

Tavros hesitates, then looks up at me.

"U-um, uh... ehhn... Gamzee?"

I look down at him, smiling. The little cutie.

"What's up, Tavbro?"

"Uh... Um... Can I hold on to you? I'm kind of nervous..."

He looks away and blushes. I can feel myself heating up, too. Man, everything about this guy turns out to be adorable! What the hell...?

Hehe, It's not like I'm objecting...

"Sure, Tav, whatever you want. It's no big deal."

He looks up at me like I just made him the happiest kid in the whole motherfuckin' universe.

God, was he tryin' to give me a heart attack? His shy smile gave me goosebumps, and when he wrapped his silky arms around my pale, skinny ones and rested his chin on my shoulder, I flinched and my heart began beating quickly.

He clung to me, and buried his face into my matted hair and hid from sight as onlookers stared.

I felt my body heat up, and wondered why he decided to trust me so easily. Why he could cling to me like that and not feel uncomfortable, but even to feel safe with me...? Safe?

I almost laughed. I was the most unstable person there was. How could I be safe?

And what the hell did a sweet little motherfucker like Tavbro do to get into an "Institution" such as this one?

Thoughts stop, cares subside for a moment as my mind snaps to reality and I pull open the door we arrive at, and let us into thebare room, and in that instant, I feel more self-consious than I ever have in my life.

I feel like I should be showing him something a lot more spectacular on his first day here.

But he pulls away from my arm, and begins looking around the small space excitedly, taking in everything with hungry eyes.

He turns, and grabs my hands, lifts them to his chest. I hesitate, say something unintelligent, and blush as I meet his shining eyes. His smile is genuine, and I look away, honestly flustered, this emotion new and embarrassing to me.

"Ne, Gamzee! This is gonna be really fun, I think!"

Then he turns, ponders.

"But... there's only one bed... How are we going to do that...? I mean... where... ahn...ah... I mean..."

He breaks away from his sentence, both of us blushing.

"U-um, I dunno, Tavbro. Maybe we'll just have to sleep in the same bed for a while, y'know."

He looks up at me, embarrassed, questioning, and I go red.

I must have sounded like a dumbass, saying that so casually.

"E-er, I mean, I guess I can sleep some where el-"

I pause.

Look around the barren grey room with nothing but a steel bed with a few blankets, a dresser, and a wooden chair in the corner. The walls and floor were cement.

We looked at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.

I leaned my slender frame against the walls, and gripped them with my fingers, and shook with laughter.

Tavros was to my left, on the ground, curled up and grinning, tears in his eyes. This sight made me laugh even harder, and soon we were both on the ground, cracking up.

"G-g-ga-a-a-am-mzee... heheehee Oh-h-h my god, hehh heheheheehee~ You'r-re r-really f-funny-y heeh hehe!"

My breath has long since escaped me, and tears begin to form in my eyes as well.

"_What the fuck?"_

Those three words jolt me to my senses, making my legs slam into the cement ground, and I just manage to get to my feet before Karkat can grab my arm and pull me up like last time.

"E-er, sorry, bro. I- I- I didn't mean it, Mr. Va-"

A harsh slap silences me, and I fall silent. My cheek burns, it hurts like a motherfucker; more than anything, I don't want to look at Tavros. Afraid of what he thinks, what his facial expression shows.

"You don't get it, Makara, do you? You just don't get it. I leave for ten minutes, and you're already fucking around. What a goddamn failure you turned out to be."

Without any meaning to, a pitiful whimper escapes my lips, and instantly I hate myself. Showing weakness only will get you hurt in this place.

My thick black hair is being yanked painfully from Karkat's strong grip, his fingers curled around the dark locks.

I gasp in pain, and grit my teeth. Why the hell do I have to be so pitiful today? When Tavros arrives? God, I must seem disgusting in his eyes.

My head is pulled forwards, then thrust back, and his grip releases, my body thrown backwards onto the wall behind me.

His foot plants itself on my abdomen, pushing, but this time I withstand it, grinning at him, but keeping my body limp. Karkat smiles too, but less tired, motives much more sinister.

He leans forwards, grabs my hair on either side of my head, forcing my chin up, his legs sliding in between mine, and the small parting between my legs receives a painful jab from his knee. His tongue slides up my face to my mouth, where he slides it over my own, and I emit low growling noises of displeasure. He locks his mouth to mine, my fingers gripping the ground, and arms shaking.

In an instant, he is off of me, already heading towards the door. Before he closes it, without turning, he addresses me.

"Next time I see you fooling around, you'll get much worse, Gamzee..."

Then he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

I stare at the empty space where he once stood, then sink all the way to the ground, my defeated smile widening, and I wipe the saliva off of my chin with my forearm.

God, how fucking stupid I must seem right now. So _weak. _So motherfucking revolting.

But all I can feel at the moment is tired. Tired of everything. My life, my personality, my poor choices, my weakness, every motherfucking thing about single fucking thing about me was sickening.

I place my arm over my eyes, cooling my burning forehead. Erasing all thoughts, clearing my head. Melting away into nothing.

_Yeah..._

Something warm presses to my stomach, and I flinch horribly. More like an extended spaz attack, though.

Warm arms reach to wrap around my neck, and fluffy hair tickles my nose as he rests his head under my chin. He is shaking, and soon, I realize that the damp spots running down my shirt are tears.

I'm fascinated somehow, that he hasn't scorned me for my behavior, but I come to the conclusion that he must seek comfort after witnessing what this place is really like.

I reach an arm up to meet the soft black hair at the nape of his neck, and his sobbing moans become more audible.

"G-g-g-aa-a-aammzee... I-i-i'm s-so s-sorr-y-y... I c-couldn't do a-anythi-i-ing... P-p-ple-e-ease d-don't hate m-me, G-g-gamzee..."

With this he clenches my shirt into his fingers, and draws his slender legs up to his body, a sign of insecurity.

My eyes dilate into black pools.

Forgive _him? _

_But I was the one who being a motherfuckin' dumbass! Why the hell would he feel bad about that...?_

_Unless..._

_Does he not blame me?_

This realization is so foreign, so strange to me that I my throat becomes clogged in emotion, something I detest, and I lie there on the floor, feeling a surge of something I don't recognize.

It's painful, oh god, it's painful, and I don't know what it is. Or why I'm hurting right now.

All I can do is cling to Tavros, shift my legs over his, and let him cry.

I let my voice lower to a baritone pitch, and I shift over to his ear, whisper to him.

"Sorry, Tavbro... Looks like I had the wrong idea about you... But you'd better get used to this first-class treatment, because that's how much motherfuckin' quality this place has... Hehe..."

He looks up at me, face clogged with tears, to glimpse my grinning expression above him.

"G-gamzee...?"

And then we break out in a fit of giggles, hushes exchanged between us, so as not to bring Karkat back into our room.

"Goddamn it, Tav. Can you get any more motherfuckin' cute?"

He froze, then nestled his head in my chest, his expression void of any emotion that might give away any thoughts he had on what I had just said.

However, I on the other hand was internally scolding myself.

_Goddamn it, Gam, why the hell did you have to fucking say that! Motherfuckin' IDIOT!_

"Thanks... Gamzee."

I jumped, looking down at him with a ridiculously embarrassed look on my pink face.

"T-tavros...?"

He looked up at me, smiling,

"Thanks for showing me the room and stuff... And for, uhmm... uh, you know, letting me hold onto you even though so many people looked at us. You're a really good friend, Gamzee... And umn... just thanks..."

To muffle my sob, I pulled him to me and buried my face in the back of his jacket.

It might have seemed like a strange move, but it was better than his hearing that noise from me.

Tavros... just how can you change my emotion from overwhelmed to happy to depressed in seconds...?

And how was this one bed thing going to work, for that matter...?

**Eheh... I promise you guys some cute scenes with Tavros and Gamzee in the bed the next chappie, guys3 Until then, keep reading, please! And you know I'll always love reviews~ Reviews keep me motivated to write more, y'all! Please tell me what you thought ^ u ^**


	3. Chapter 3

…... …... . …... …. …...

The day passed by quickly, as I was excused from my daily classes so that I could show Tavros around, and let him know the daily schedule here.

People in the Institution under 18 had to attend daily classes, in all the subjects you might see in a _normal _school for five hours a day. You were in assigned classes with the same ten people for all five hours. You could be put into ten different divisions, the names varying by your last name.

Since Makara and Nitram were extremely close in the alphabet, we would be in the "Spade" class, which both of us were very happy about.

I showed him generally around, and at around three o' clock, we sat down on the stairs outside of the lunchroom to eat with John.

It seemed that those two had a very compatible nature, and I felt a sort of hot surge in my chest every time Tavros laughed with John.

No idea what it was, but it made me feel bad about whatever it was every time I felt it.

After lunch, John went to attend the last two hours of studies after lunch, called the "nighttime classes", since they started at seven o' clock, directly after lunch.

Yes, because of these late and cheap-budget lunches (which was the only meal we received all day) ,most of the people attending this school became malnourished. The stress here probably didn't help any of us to gain weight, either.

You could see Tavros was still at a very healthy weight, since he hadn't even been here a full night yet.

At the moment, we were walking up the stairs to the third floor.

It had just turned 9:00 a few minutes ago, and we still had a full hour before we had to return to our stone prisons for the night.

Just moments ago, we had been furiously debating over whether red or purple Faygo was better, but both of us had fallen silent after coming to a hallway in which the walls were completely made out of glass.

I felt my breath hitch as I glimpsed the outside world in a beautiful way.

I'm sure, at that moment, my eyes were sparkling.

I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Tavros looking at me questioningly.

I pressed my hands to the frail glass, and took in everything with my dark, dark eyes.

Fields of green, small pools of water sparkling aqua, flowers dotted here and there in a variety of colors. Small white birds nested in auburn branches, fluttering around gaily.

_Why...?_

_Why is everything so beautiful in the outside world, and everything in here has to be so motherfucking cold? So motherfucking ugly...?_

I bit my lip harshly, and my canines pierced skin. A felt a small line of blood work its way down my lip.

Tavros exclaimed in surprise, and drew closer, looking worried.

"G-Gamzee...? Are... are you okay...?"

I didn't answer him, but after a minute or so, I slid to the ground, sitting cross-legged, staring out at the view that stunned, yet antagonized me.

Tavros remained at my side, then sank down next to me, and after a moment, rested his head on my shoulder hesitantly.

I stared outside, watching until the sun dimmed, sky turned beautifully orange, horizon melting everything into its wonderfully bright glare.

A harsh ringing bell signaling 10 o' clock startled both of us, and I felt Tavros jump next to me, inhaling sharply.

His back bowed, face flushed, hand gripping his heart.

"O-o-oh m-my god, th-that was sc-scary, G-gamzee..."

His breathing slowed slightly, then he looked up at me and we both dissolved into laughter on the ground.

We got up, finally, Tavros' head nodding from exhaustion as the day of walking around the Institution came to an end.

I slipped an arm through the crook of his, and led him to our room a floor down. While we were going down the stairs, I began whispering to him.

"Are you tired, Tavbro?"

His eyes fluttered open, and a sleepy grin stretched over his face.

"Yeah... I need to sleep... T-tomorrow is gonna be ex-exciting, isn't it, Gamzee...?"

I smiled sadly.

"Yeah, man. Motherfuckin' awesome."

Back in the room, we both stared at the bed awkwardly.

"U-uhm... Gamzee...? How are we going to get changed...?"

A heavy blush spread its way across both of our faces unwillingly.

"U-uh-uhm... I dunno, Tav. Uhhhh... Maybe we can just try not to look...?"

He nodded tiredly, blushing again.

I turned, my face burning more than ever, as my arms shook, withholding my desires. I slipped my rumpled black shirt off, exposing my chest, and hoped to god he wouldn't turn and glimpse all of my uncountable scars working their way over my slim frame. I slid my black jeans off as well, then underwear, and now more than ever, my heart pumped in terror, urged me to quicken myself.

I hastily pulled on new clothing and my gray-spotted pajama pants.

But now, for some reason, I turned, turned, not thinking of the consequences, not thinking of how this might hurt his feelings, how it might damage our already fragile relationship, but I turned, I turned almost as if I was possessed, and saw _it._

_Them._

_That disfigured body he hid behind his shy demeanor and shallow lies that blanketed the truth behind thin clothes._

He was shyly pulling up pajama bottoms up over his boxers that hid... legs... but they... _weren't _legs at all! They were... made of some sort of a steel or metal of some sort...!

Tavros... had no legs?

I turned my head away quickly, slapping a hand to my mouth, feeling my stomach churn, bile at the back of my throat.

I steadied my quavering arms, and turned to meet his gaze after a moment, putting on a sleepy look.

"So... er... Do you want the outside, orrrrrrrr..." My voice trailed away, seeing his expression.

Sadness, anger, agony. All of these emotions sent electricity through his limbs, causing them to shake, fingers to stretch apart, reach to grab the edge of his shirt, arms quavering.

"Gamzee... Why...?"

My mouth fell into a displeasured grimace.

"Aw, damn it, Tavbro, I didn't mean t-"

"I-I peeked, Gamzee... Oh my god, I'm so sorry..."

_...the fuck...?_

Tavros never fails to surprise me, to make my heart race... Just what does that mean...?

I let a sad smile pass through my usually emotionless barrier.

"C'mere, Tav..."

He rushes at me, and I pull him in for a hug, patting his hair with a shaking hand.

"Shhhh... It's okay, man... Don't worry about it..."

I feel his grip around my abdomen tighten, and only then do I realize how short he really is compared to me.

A whimper, then,

"I'm tired..."

"Heh... Yeah, man, me too..."

He crawls into the steel bed first, cradling his legs to his body, then slowly slides them down as to make more room for me. I crawl in next to him, and feel his breath on my forehead.

It tickles, so I curl my fists into balls, rub my forehead, closing my eyes.

When I open them, I see Tavros staring at me with wide eyes.

"W-w-wha...? Uhm... Tav?"

He blinks.

"H-huh? Oh! S-sorry, Gamzee, I just- I just had no idea that you could be so... cute...?"

My mouth opens, about to debate on the fact whether I am _cute _or not, but a pat on my head silences me, shutting my mouth, leaving me to glare up at the grinning Tavros with a pink tint on my cheeks.

"...I am not _cute_."

"Hehe... Oh yes you _are_, Gamzee..."

He pulls me to his chest so I am curled into his body, breathing in his intoxicating scent, one of salt and soap, which for some reason turns me on.

God, what the _hell_ are you _thinking?! _

He's you're motherfucking _friend, _for god's sake!

Still, though. Since I have been the one comforting the shy Tavros, it never even crossed my mind once that he would be the one holding me to him in the dead of the night.

I bury my nose into the soft down of his shirt, inhaling.

_Oh, god. _

_No, no. Nonononononononononononono._

_Please, please god, no._

I pull away from him, starting Tavros.

"G-gamzee...?"

His eyes are lidded and dark circles stand out under his eyes.

Most likely he's in an extremely dazed state, unlikely to remember this moment in the morning.

_No. Goddamn it, Gamzee, you cannot._

_He is your FRIEND._

_Nothing else._

_Do NOT do something you'll regret._

_He'll just hate you for it._

_He doesn't like you much, anyways._

...He doesn't?

_Why would he?_

He's been good to me.

_Hah! He's using you, Gamzee. When will you ever learn? _

_You're USELESS._

I-I know I am, but...

_But...? You doubt me? Have I ever been wrong?_

…...

_Don't get friendly with him, you piece of shit. Why are you showing yourself to this lame-ass kid, anyways?_

_Do you feel bad for him...?_

No, I...!

_Shut the hell up. Who cares what you have to say? Remember._

_You're a _

_F  
R  
E  
A  
K_

_._

I turn, shift my legs up to my stomach, press them there. Hook my arms around those legs. And breathe out. Trying to resist. Trying to keep it locked in.

_The desire..._

_That overwhelming presence that always lurks..._

_Waiting..._

_For when some weak fool that tempts my senses wanders into its prey's domain._

_The intent, the lusting need!_

_To KILL!_

Something within snaps, and Tavros is slammed to the wall in an instant.

His eyes shoot open, arms quaver and mouth trembling in fear.

"Ga-"

I silence him with a brush of my sharp teeth along his neckline, then a sharp push and he cries out, clawing at the back of my shirt.

His breath hitches, face burns.

Fingernails carefully shaped into points brush up the quavering skin underneath his shirt that is pulled up.

He is laid carefully back onto the bed, a tongue tracing up his ribs, teeth scraping and dragging.

_He senses it, yesssss..._

_That aura of dangerous behaviour..._

_Dangerous..._

_Dangerous..._

_Leaving scratches in his perfect, perfect, milky skin._

_Want to carve, want to claim, claim_

_Claim_

_it_

_Claim him_

_He is _

_mine_

_Claim_

_Scratch_

_Kill_

_Harm_

_Show him Show him_

_he is mine what I can do what I am_

_Show him who I really _

_AM_

Bright blue eyes snap back into black, legs slump back down onto the bed, arms useless, words useless, everything _about _me, so motherfucking _useless_.

I slap both hands to my burning forehead, feel acid tears underneath my sweaty palms.

"God...damn...it... Not again..."

Suddenly I am being glomped by the other boy in my room.

Tears splatter my face as he swings himself over me, hugging me to the bed, his legs gripping my waist.

He beings to speak in a hushed, quavering voice between dry sobs.

"G-g-g-ga-am-m-mzeeee! Do-d-don-n't d-d-do th-that e-ever ag-g-ga-a-ainnn! Y-y-you r-really sc-sca-scared m-m-me!"

Again, even though he is scared, he manages to cling on to me, forgive me.

Why...?

Why...?

What have I ever done for this kind of treatment...? I thought I was... sickening?

Useless.

_You are._

So then why...?

I press him to my chest, let him stroke my hair as I fall asleep in the comfort of his warm chest.

I...

Tav...ros...

I lo-

**Hehe... Well, that's it for now. I've gotta plan ahead for the next chapter... Oh, man, I stayed up a little too late writing this. I have an anime con in the morning, and I really should get some sleep. But I would ****_never _****neglect my faithful followers, and make y'all wait, so I decided to finish tonight. ~ ^ u ^ By the way, I have been enjoying my reviews a lot~ They make me feel better about this fic -/- **

**Please review if you liked this chapter~**


	4. Chapter 4

…... …... …... … ….. …...

I'm not sure if I was happy for day to come or not.

I was uncomfortable, that was for sure.

Tavros had the tightest grip on me, hugging me, snuggling his fluffy hair into my neck as he slept. Insomniac as I was, it still wasn't the most desirable sleeping situation whatsoever. I couldn't exactly be sure as whether to wake him up or just deal with it, either.

If fact, my head was pretty much spinning at the moment.

So much.

So much had happened, so many feelings, thoughts, reactions, in a _day_!

A day...

So what were these feelings, anyways?

_Feelings..._

_Feelings..._

Yeah, what are those?

I mean, ugh, goddamn it, this is stupid.

Fucking stupid.

I lowed my eyelids and snuggled my face into the warmth of Tavros' shirt. Brushing my leg accidentally against his, I flinched, and felt sadness enter my veins.

_Worthless._

Yeah, I know, so shut up.

_If you know, then why are you cuddling with him._

Because I want to, motherfucker. He's...

_Heh... He's __**what, **__Gamzee?_

I... I don't know.

The voice vanishes and I feel my muscles relax again.

I hate him. I hate when he talks to me, telling me what I really am, what people think about me, who I am.

I sigh.

"At first... I ignored it. I chased it away with sheer willpower, Tav! But after a few years... I just began to believe it, you know? I mean, I still do, well, why would he be telling me all that anyways, huh, Tav..."

I look at him next to me. Sound asleep. Snuggled into the sheets, arms up to his chest, legs fitted perfectly inside of mine. They moved like that automatically as the voice came. And they stayed.

A smile comes.

"I wish to motherfuckin' god, Tav. I wish I could just up n' tell you about me... You know...? Why the fuck is that, huh, Tav?"

_Motherfuckin' answer me..._

I close my exhausted eyes, let them rest.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

My sight is blurry, and I can't see anything, so I blink a few times, clearing my head and vision. Opening them all the way now, I find Tavros' face so motherfuckin' close to mine, eyes so wide, I jump up, falling sideways off the bed and face planting.

I hear giggling.

Getting up, face sore and surly, I grab him by the shirt, lift up.

"Goddamn it, you little motherfucker. What the fuck?!"

He's still laughing, tears now forming in his eyes from the situation.

"G-g-gamz-zee, y-you, _ahahahhahah! Oh my god!"_

I jerk him closer, watch as he flinches and pulls away from me, hurt instantly on his face.

"Ga-gam...zee? O-oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh... It was just... so..."

He starts up again. I slowly set him back to the bed, sit next to him, and run a hand through my hopeless black hair, then my arm drop to my lap.

"Ugh, oh man, motherfucker. I just can't seem to get mad at you for that fuckin' long, can I?"

He looks up at me, smiling.

"I think I know wh-yyyy~!"

My face heats horribly, and I casually look to the left, away from him, and begin fumbling with my shirt carelessly.

"He...hehehehe... Y-yeah, you do, huh? Why is it, Tav?"

A mischievous little grin peeks out of his shy demeanor.

"It's because we're _friends!_"

For some reason, and I really can't fathom why, but, my heart sinks at these words.

_Now, really, what were you expecting, anyways, you piece of shit?_

I choose to ignore the voice this time, and for some reason he leaves me be for the moment, as well. Maybe he pestered me enough last night.

"Uhhh, Tav, what time is it?"

Hmn. Well, the clock right there says that it's eleven-fifty-three. So... um... When did you say-"

"Aghhhh! FUCK! Goddamn it, Tav! We gotta get ready like _right _now; class starts in seven minutes!"

Changing clothes this time was different as we both scrambled to hurriedly jam random things on our bodies and at least wash our faces quickly in the bathroom down the hall.

We were opening the door to the classroom and scurrying to random seats (ahem- next to each other) and we made it to our chairs just as the bell rang.

We made it, both of us probably looking like shit with hardly brushed hair, and faces flushed and tired from oversleeping.

Letting ourselves breathe for a few moments, we then grinned at each other, still desperately needing air.

Finally regaining my usual pace of breathing, I looked up to the front of the class, expecting a teacher to be there, welcoming us to the new semester of whatever the fuck he was going to say to us.

No one there, people around us began to chat.

I ignored Tavros for the moment, glancing around to see who else was in class with us. Or anyone I halfway liked, that is.

Thankfully, I recognized almost everyone.

Everyone but one person.

Sitting next to... ah, Feferi Peixes.

Feferi was a typical little motherfucker, that one. Always happy and full of life, bubbly, Charming. Pretty. Popular with the others, of course. She always was nice to me, though, when she talked to me, which... Oh, wait, that's fucking right, I wasn't really popular. At all. Why the fuck would she talk to me? But, whatever. At least she wasn't a bitch.

The girl next to her was chatting to her with an expression that made you think she was up to no good. In fact, everything about her spelled trouble. Long, insanely tight braids showed rebellion, somehow. Pink glasses lined her perfectly black-encircled eyes. A very, very loose and low cut shirt hung off of her full, round tits, accentuating them. A low belt was fastened to cargo pants on her hips. She was very skinny, and a number of bracelets adorned her wrists while a few gold chains hung from around her petite neck. It was kind of a pirate-y, badass sort of look.

Along with Peixes, I noticed another girl from previous experiences. Nepeta Leijon. Nepeta was like a little kitten. Clingy, small, and most of all, cute. Not like Feferi's new friend, cute, but she was literally like a little adorable animal. You wanted to pick her up and snuggle with her on a couch for an hour.

And then she'd scratch your fucking face off. That girl had a temper, if you sparked it, and would motherfuckin' kill you, if you invoked her rage. But no one had really even ever witnessed that. One day, a little dick-head named Cronus ticked her off and we later saw his body being dragged away, on a stretcher, long, deep scratches on his face and chest. He never returned.

She really was cute, though.

A glance to my right, and I find Aradia Megido. Man, talk about mysterious. She was one creepy chick. Smart, too. At the moment, she was looking out the window, contemplating something, whatever it was. Her expression was one of knowledge and great meaning. It was a little frightening, too. Whenever she spoke, it was only when she was asked something by the teacher, since most, no, fucking everyone was scared to talk to her.

Her voice only made her that much more intimidating. It was like... like a clear calm pool of water, very, very early in the morning, in the middle of a clearing of woods. The mist is still out, no sounds, no water, no birds. Everything is fucking dead. And you want to run away, but you can't, you just fucking can't because something important is happening, a once in a lifetime chance... or something.

Heh. I should be a motherfuckin' poet, shouldn't I?

Aradia was always dressed in full length skirts and turtlenecks, once again, revealing nothing.

At the front of the classroom, of course, there was Terezi Pyrope. Now there was a girl I can like. She was blind, but always wore these really... "rad" glasses that were a incredibly flamboyant red. "Rad." There was no other word for it. She was fuckin' rad.

Terezi always carried around this walking stick thing that she strapped to her back, and she was known for loving to solve things. Puzzles, answers, she would _always _be right there. She adored mysteries of any kind. Too bad she sucked at them. She really was _not _good at school-y things. Whatever. At least she had fun with it.

Terezi had been in my class last year, and we had sat together, and had a real motherfuckin' awesome time. The whole time I spent with her was occupied by dissing people over scraps of paper passed back and forth, and complaining about the "Institution." She used to come by my room and we'd just talk about shit. You know, feelings and whatnot while we sat on my collection of clown horns. For some reason, that had always felt slightly nostalgic to me. And... sad.

Well, we hadn't really talked much after Terezi befriended Vriska Serket. However, she wasn't in either of our classes this year, so maybe we would have time to bond again.

Everyone else I didn't know, just more faces in a sea of meaningless people.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Time passed. Exactly thirty-six fucking minutes. My fingers drummed on the desk, slim eyebrows furrowed in frustration. It wasn't that I was anticipating school _that _much, but I really was bored at this point.

Tavros had begun sleeping, resting his head in his arms, exactly twenty-four minutes ago, gaining extra sleep he undoubtedly needed. My eyes lowed in affection for him.

"Yo, Gamzee!"

I turned, finding Terezi's head turned back to me. I grinned.

"Hey, motherfuckin' best friend. Ya' knew I was here. Fuckin' miracles, man."

She grinned, and shifted further back on her chair.

"Heh. Looks like you found a new best friend. Or should I say John? Not to mention that little guy sleepin' right there. Man, he must be a total dipshit to not to notice your feelin's fo' him already, the little fucker."

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

"Feelings? Man, where the hell'd ya get that, Terez?"

"Duuude, they're fuckin' in the air, Gamz. How the fuck you expect me not to notice? You dig him _big time, _clown boy."

I feel a scowl cross my features.

She reacts.

"Hey, man, just observin'. No need to shoot your negative energy at me for guessin', Gamz. I could always be wrong, ya' know."

Nice save.

"Heh, bro, we just met like fuckin' yesterday, Terez. Besides, Tav's my bro."

Terezi grinned, then stuck her pinky and forefinger in the air curling the others down, grinning, then turned back around leaning back on her chair, arm resting on the back.

I was about to relax back into my chair as well when something came zooming into the door, and a loud noise ensued.

Something flew into our room, then crashed? What the fuck...?

I shifted so that I could see better, and so did everyone else in the room, (excepting Aradia, not surprisingly) and I found... what I guessed to be our teacher...?

As he got up, I was going to relax back into my seat, but his strange appearance startled me, and all I did was stare at him with eyes full of _what the fucking fuck?_

Our... uh... teacher[?] was a lanky, awkward looking person. He was tall, extremely skinny, and had black hair that almost completely covered his wide, shifty eyes. He seemed to be hopped up on something, and kept fidgeting around nervously. He was wearing a very wrinkled white dress shirt and a red tie that had been put on backwards, and he had on pants that fit his legs comfortably, thank god, but were far too long at the ends, covering his yellow rain boots. He had a very disheveled look to him, and even through this, it would be hard to deny that he was the "cute and innocent type" which meant that this was the worst kind of place to work for someone like him, this "Institution."

He fidgeted, and everyone in the room looked slightly horrified, for some reason, then at almost the same time, everyone sat down, looking at the man at the front of the room expectantly.

He stood there for about half a minute and then- he blurted out extremely loudly:

"H-hello, sthpade clath! I'm gonna be your teachther, Mituna Captor!" As he said all of this, he clenched his shirt down, like Tavros did, and he turned very white.

I heard Terezi stifle a laugh.

"Oh, man," she said, and I knew, well, everyone fuckin' knew what she meant.

Oh, _fucking_, man. This was gonna be so motherfuckin' interestin'.

**Hehe. I really wanted to include Mituna in here. He really is my favorite character out of Homestuck. Ummm, also, please excuse me if some of them are OOC. This is my first MSP fic, and I'm having a bit of a hard time trying to figure out the right way to do the personalities in an AU and Humanstuck way, and in this specific setting. **

**I know, I know, all of you guys hear this on every single fic you read, but I really do appreciate reviews~ I read all of them, and take them to heart. If you have any criticisms, please, never hesitate to let me know, as I always could use improving TT ^ TT I love you alllll~**

**Ah, and one more thing, I am sooo sorry for the late update but I promise you I will have chapters five and six posted by Thursday this week~ Thanks sooo much for your patience!**


	5. Chapter 5

…... ….. …... … …... ….. …... …..

Three motherfucking words.

I was fucking irritated.

Oh, wait. Never mind. That's four.

But whatever.

Tavros.

Ughh, in retrospect, what the fuck was I thinking? That the most likable, adorable, sweet little piece of ass would go unnoticed in this small class?

Yeah fucking right, he wouldn't.

Instantly making friends by just chatting to people, warming up to them, like he did to me, he became acquainted with every single person in the class through one sentence. For like, fucking everyone.

Even goddamn Aradia.

At 2:55, when we were dismissed for the four hours of free time/lunch that began, he had strode casually over to her, smiling shyly, fingers locked around his left arm behind his back.

Everyone noticed at once, tensing, and it was as if the entire class inhaled sharply all at once. But all he asked was a simple, "would you like to eat lunch with me," and she hesitated momentarily before nodding, then smiling, her hazy eyes settling in on him.

I noticed her heavily reddened lips tip upwards in amusement.

Now alone for the four hours, I decided to go find John sulkily. Jamming my hands into my pockets, irritated, I ascended the stairs to the second floor where the lunchroom and John's class were. Kids, all with varying amounts of issues, pushed past me, glad to escape the new classrooms.

I, however, was not glad in any fucking way whatsoever. Tavros had ignored me completely, deciding to build relations with his other classmates before me. Well, what did I expect? He wasn't mine, or anything.

I frowned.

Mine? What did _that_ mean?

_If you want him, you can have him. Claim him. Take him for yourself._

This time, I let the voice speak to me, feeling betrayed, lonely, not that I had ever been cared about. So what the fuck was I angsting about right now? Why did Tavros' appearance shake me so much? Why the hell did _I _get jealous when another claimed his time? Why the hell should I only get him to myself, anyways. Selfish.

_Hmn. You don't think that you deserve something after all the fucking painful, worthless years of your life? Why not just take him as your own, Gamzee? You know you could do it..._

What the fuck do you mean, take him as my own? What does that even imply?

I slapped a hand to my forehead, my back arched, all as I reach shakily for a nearby chair positioned to the right of the hallway, my muscles needing to rest.

_Heh. All you need to to is __**break **__him. Cave in his mind, so that he only follows you, talks to you, does whatever the fuck you __**want **__him to do. Shave him away, who is is. Shatter his personality. His pain. His former life. __**Who he is.**_

_**He will be yours.**_

But... But... He doesn't deserve that. I don't want to hurt him, because... Well, he's never done anything wrong, to begin with. And...

_Then why the fuck are you getting all sad over his going to hang out with quiet bitch for a few hours, dickhead?_

I... I don't know.

"Uhhh, Gamz...? Are you okay, man? You look like shit."

From the voice, I recognize it's Egbert.

I look up, then do my best to put on a typical grin, one I might normally give him.

As soon as I offered it, I felt bored with my usual game, and dropped it. My usual facade. Everything. Listening to this goddamn motherfucking voice in my head.

And I _really _wasn't in the mood for trying to seem as if I were fucking _okay._

"Yeee-ah, bro. Sorry, but I gotta, uh, catch some motherfuckin' miracles real quick, see ya later, man."

I strode away, holding a hand to my forehead, and I could feel it throbbing, the heat noticeable against my palm.

I really _fucking _wish I didn't have to talk like some sort of a motherfuckin' stoner all the time. But, it was how I chose my facade to be, and it seemed to work. Really, though, after almost sixteen years, I was tired of this shit.

I banged the door to the nurse's office open, looking for a motherfuckin' ice pack or some shit like that, because _goddamn _my head hurt like a bitch.

I just about fainted as my head gave another painful throb, bringing me to my knees.

"Ac-c-chh.. My fuckin' head huuurts!"

I heard footsteps, and opening my eyes I saw a pair of black shoes appear in front of me.

Karkat's shoes.

Oh holy fuck, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

_Don't fucking whine to me during this. You know that after everything you definitely deserve it. But it looks like right now, he might just be ready to go all the way. Heh._

_A real bitch isn't it? Karkat's the only one who ever shows you affection, yet you run from it every time. How fitting._

I froze, not listening to the amused drawls coming from the man who drags me up onto the steel bed lined with paper, and I let my body just drop hopelessly on the crumpling stuff.

Was he right? Could I just not be satisfied? Am... I really that selfish? Really...

_You are selfish, yes, in a lot of ways. But don't feel bad for that. The people who made you how you are were much more so. But, you know, it's okay to be that way. You can use that, become stronger. Do more. Become someone who doesn't disgust everyone they meet. _

Yeah... If I can get through things being selfish, everything will be motherfucking fine... Umn...

I can almost feel him grinning.

_Call me Kurloz. That's my name. _

Kur...

I grit my teeth as Karkat works my jeans off. And decide to withstand it.

**I'm sorry for making the chapter insanely short this time, and I'm sorry for angst after such a happy chapter -_- ( …...)**

**I'm going to do a Tavros POV for the next chapter, and upload it with this one to make up for the lack of pages! G-g-g-gomen, everyone! Hehe~ **

**Pray for poor Gamzee TT_ TT**


	6. Chapter 6

…... …... …... …... ….. …...

_(Tavros' POV)_

**Churning, churning darkness. Overwhelming, and pushing me off the edge. Hidden resolves fool unworthy prey as my quiet, shy grin cuts into people, making me scream, laugh, draw blood in mirth. The fools don't know what they've gotten into, do they? ****_Do they? _**

**The long-haired one in front of me smiles, and studies me with crystalline eyes. Intriguing. She must have ****_that _****ability. It probably got her into more trouble than she bargained, eh? Ended up here. **

**Her voice cuts through the dark fog infecting my insides. **

"_**TAVROS... WHO ARE YOU?"**_

**Fading in and out, breaths of smoke puff, churning, churning darkness. Uneasy.**

**Wh-What? Heh... hehe... I didn't expect that.**

"_**H-huh? Aradia... I- I don't understand, really... Ummm... I'm Tavros Nitram..."**_

**Lets see if that can fool the wench. If so, then she is not worth my time...**

**Churning, churning. Overwhelming hatred. Pain, and most of all, PAIN.**

**She looks taken aback.**

"_**HMN... YOU SAY YOU ARE TAVROS NITRAM...? DO YOU THINK THAT I AM A FOOL?  
I HAVE JUST MET YOU, AND ALREADY YOU TRY TO TEMPT MY KNOWLEDGE?**_

_**QUITE APPALLING, I COULD SAY."**_

**Heh. Well, then.**

"_**Allow me to apologize then, my lady..."**_

**She scoffs.**

"_**MY LADY INDEED... HAVE YOU NOT BEEN RUDELY REFERRING TO ME IN A LESS**_

_**INTIMATE WAY INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD THIS WHOLE TIME? **_

_**I WOULD GUESS SO."**_

**I smile, and begin to counterattack when Gamzee's little brunette friend comes walking up to me, with a strange expression on his face.**

"_**UH...UHM... TAVROS, RIGHT? YEAH, UM, GAMZEE WASN'T FEELING TOO WELL JUST NOW, AND HE RAN OFF. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT, BUT I THINK IT'S DANGEROUS JUST TO LET HIM BE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE COULD HAVE GONE, AND THINGS COULD DEFINITELY GET BAD, SEEING WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST WHEN GAMZEE GETS LIKE THIS... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA WHERE HE MIGHT BE...?**_

_**I CHECKED THE NURSE'S OFFICE ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES AFTER HE LEFT, BUT NO ONE WAS IN THERE BUT MR. VANTAS...**_

_**HE LOOKED PRETTY PISSED, AND FOR SOME REASON THERE WAS BLOOD ALL OVER HIM...**_

_**DO YOU THINK GAMZEE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT?**_

_**I KNOW THAT MR. VANTAS LIKES GAMZEE WAY TOO MUCH..."**_

**Wow. Did this kid ever shut up? Why did Gamzee hang out with this dork, again? Who even knows, really, and who cares...**

**The mist inside throbs, though. **

**Gamzee, eh...? **

**This peaks my interest. Gamzee... peaks my interest. He's different than the other idiots who screwed up that surround him.**

**He isn't like me and Aradia, either, who are clearly above people on a normal scale, our understanding of things.**

**I stand.**

"_**G-Gamzee...? Oh, no... Ummm... you wait here, okay? I'll make sure that he's alright..."**_

**I don't let John debate, since this is an expedition I want to fulfill on my own.**

**~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~**

**Hitting the main stairwell, I ascend two floors, to where the giant glass windows were. He took me here on my first day... **

**My heart softens.**

**Gamzee...**

**And I feel the mist lift. **

"U-uu-uhhh...ggkk..."

I hit the floor, hating that overwhelming nauseous feeling when It leaves.

On and off, for my entire life, this Disorder has plagued me, changing my world, throwing my personality into turmoil. It usually only infects me for about a day or so every month. But during that short time, a life can be ruined, not just your own. Someone can get hurt, not just other people.

Things _will _change.

I can't stop Him, I don't know how. And I hate the feeling of Him in me. Taking on my personality. My facade. Trying to accomplish... what? What could He possibly want from me...?

And why did It leave so suddenly this time...? After thinking of Gamzee...?

Tired of second-guessing about this, I grip the wall with my shaking fingers, and go back down the stairs to our room. He wasn't to be seen inside.

For the next hour, I check everywhere I can think of, in bathrooms, hallways, every floor, scanned, every room peeked into, nothing left unchecked.

Exhausted, I decide to sit on a chair to the right of the empty hallway, a little ways down from the nurse's office. Tilting my forehead to rest on my cool arms stretches out my back, cracking it.

"Ach-ch-ch-h!"

I hear a low snicker. Raising my head, slightly exhilarated, I find it to be Terezi. Standing there, leaning on her red walking-cane.

"Yo, Tavvy, mah man! What's wrong wit-chou?"

I give a small smile, tilting my head sideways.

"Ehhh, nothin', really... Just lookin' for Gamzee... I think he's in trouble, maybe..."

She nods her head slowly.

"Yeah... when he left the classroom today, he looked pretty pissed off for some reason. And I just saw him about, ehhh, a little more'n an hour, and he looked even worse, man. Ready to kick some ass, that kid was so grumpy. Dunno where he might'v headed to, though. Sorry if that don't really help, Tavvy."

"N-no, thanks! That really did help! I think I might know where he went off to, now!"

I got up, and dashed away, glad to be gone from her presence, for some reason... _Something about her._

But, still. I felt kinda bad for lying... I had no idea where Gamzee was, still, and my last resort was to go down to the office, and have them do something about it.

I sighed, a few minutes later, as I entered the door to the main office, once again, for the second time in two days.

A record, I guessed.

As I recalled, Mr. Ampora[?] waved me in, looking at me in an uncomfortable way.

"He-looo, there, again, cutie~ Wwhat're you lookin' for, mmn? Somethin' to do, or... did you just come to see me, perhaps...?"

I chuckled nervously, stepping back slightly from the man. His speech tenancies were...

"Ummm, actually, my friend, Gamzee... uh... umn... Makara, has been missing for a while, and I couldn't find him, so, maybe, ummm..."

"Of _course, _hun~ Wwhy didn't you just come see us before...?"

"Uhh, I don't know... I thought I could find him on my own, maybe...?"

His hand reached up to ruffle my hair, and he grinned.

"Don't wworry your cute little head, Mister Nitram! Wwe'll send some people out to get 'im, and have him brought down to your room afterwwards! Don't wworry, kay?"

I smiled, feeling relieved.

_But come nighttime, still no sign of him, a whole seven hours later... I began to get worried._

Unable to sleep, I leaned my back against the cold wall, hunching.

Waiting, waiting.

Until, finally.

The door creaked open.

Revealing

the girl from my class, before.

Nepeta.

Face highlighted by shadows.

Blood smearing her hands and shirt sleeves.

Staring at me.

And stepping inside.

**I am sooo sorry~ My writing was a little off today, and I'm not really sure if I made the right choices for Tavros' personality in this chapter. :/ I wanted to put something interesting into his persona, so... haha... Umm, yeah! The next chapter will be up either this Saturday, or sometime next week, everyone~ Also... I have decided to make it Tavros' POV for the next chapter... and I might be switching back and forth randomly... I don't even know... haha...**

**Eeek~ I thank you all for the wonderful reviews; you have no idea how much I appreciate them!**

**I looove you guys TT^TT**


	7. Chapter 7

. …... …... …... …... …...

_(Tavros' POV)_

"Ne-ne-n-nep-nepeta...? Wh-what...?"

Her facial expression showed nothing. No emotion. No feeling.

Or so I assumed.

She took a step, leaving a track of blood on the floor. Then another. And another.

"A-a-ahh-ehh, Nepe-"

And she dug her heel into the ground as she leapt at me, pulling her short, skinny arms around my neck, as she hugged me back onto the bed. Her hold was extremely tight, and it didn't help that I had no clue what was going on.

"U-ummm...?"

She pulled back from me, her legs split over my chest, knees resting on the soft folds on blankets around me. She reached out and grabbed my shirt, pulling me up and shaking me back and forth.

"Taaavrrros! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?! I'm just glad _he's _okay! But for you, the shock must be...!"

He?

Shock?

She's _sorry?!_

_For what?_

"Nep-pe-pe-petaa-a-a you ca-a-an sto-stop sha-aking me now-w!"

She ceased her shaking, and let go of my shirt, dropping me against the wall.

"Oh no! I've gotten _his_ blood all over your shirt!" I'm really sorry, Tavros!"

"H-huh? Nepeta, what are you talking about? I-is someone hurt?"

She blinked, looking stunned.

"E-ehh? Wait... are you trying to tell me that you don't _know _yet?"

Suddenly I was tired of this little game she was trying to play, or whatever she was doing. I grabbed her by the sleeves of her rumpled dress shirt, and pulled her up to my face.

"Nepeta. Tell me what's happening. _I need to know what's going on. _Does this have anything to do with Gamzee?"

Her look hardened, and all of the sudden my hands received painful swats from her, and she leapt backwards nimbly, landing on the ground without a sound.

"Tavros. I like you. But, right now, I'm warning you. Don't touch me, please."

She stared at me for a moment, then shuffled her feet awkwardly, and she tugged at her plaid skirt nervously.

"About the blood... and everything... Well... You see... I was walking back to my room on the fifth floor just now, and... I-I found Gamzee in there... He was covered in blood and all this purple stuff... And he was lying on my bed, and I- I thought he was unconscious, so I went to get him, but he turned around with this really weird look in his eyes, and he seemed kind of senile, so I... I just kind of..."

She made a little chopping action with her hand in midair, then let her hand drop to her side.

My eyes were wide, and breaths rapid, short. I didn't _believe _what was happening...!

_Gamzee...! Bloody, insane, in Nepeta's room? What's going on?!_

She looked guilty at this point, and her gaze tilted to the floor.

"I... I kind of knocked him out... So I dragged him down to the nurse's office... And he hasn't woken up yet... I- I thought that someone had told you, so... I kind of came to apologize..."

She looked up again, and my stomach lurched as I saw that she had tears in her bright mocha eyes. She was blaming herself, wasn't she...? I couldn't stand it when people blamed themselves for choices they had made, and things they had done...

_It wasn't their fault...!_

"Tavros... Are you _mad _at me...? I'm so sorry! Please..."

I took a step towards her, and she flinched back.

"_Don't _touch me!"

My eyes widened, and I stayed in my spot briefly.

_What had happened to her...? Why was she acting like this...? Poor, poor Nepeta..._

I came closer to her, letting my emotions show in my eyes, wanting her to know I felt pity for her.

She flinched again, and drew back against the wall.

"_I said don't fucking touch me!"_

A slash was delivered to my chest, and I only smiled darkly as the pain seeped into my consciousness. A weak blow like that only brought me humor, pleasure. It wouldn't affect me. It never did.

She looked extremely intimidated as I confronted her, and the look in my gaze never wavered.

"Nepeta... I'm sorry."

I extended my arms and wrapped them around her body, crushing her to me, and I rested my head on her shoulder. I let my warmth, my comfort seep into her, letting her know her position as the one being comforted.

I heard a sob, and her arms slid around me as she shook horribly.

"Ta-a-a-aavvro-s-s! Y-you! I'm so sorry, so sor-sorry for hur-rting you!"

I smiled, genuinely. So many people... So many people needed just the comfort of another person to know that they weren't alone in this world... So many people were hurt, their souls in agony from the pain that the world could deliver. So many broken people, so many people who hurt because _they _themselves were hurt. So many people that didn't care what happened to them. So many people with problems... All gathered here, in this concentration of hell on earth. And what no one understood, what none of the staff could ever fathom, was that every single person here, especially those that didn't _want _affection, just needed exactly that to fix them. Not pills, not treatments.

Just _love._

_And Gamzee needed that, most of all._

Planting a firm kiss to Nepeta's forehead, I looked at her blushing face and smiled.

"I'm sorry, Nepeta. But Gamzee needs me more than anyone. Please don't forget that you are one of my friends, and you can always come to me, no matter what. You aren't alone anymore, Nepeta. Because... you have me!"

Tears came streaming down her cheeks, and she grinned finally, then shoved me away from her.

"Get out the door, Tavros. All this sappy talking is making me pawsitively sick! Now go to Gamzee, ya' dummy!"

I grinned back, then ran out the door.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

I found my way down to the nurse's office on the second floor, to find a nurse of some sort and Mr. Ampora surrounding a steel bed lined with paper in the left corner.

As I entered, Ampora turned, and walked towards me, looking w[w]orried.

"Tavros! I just sent somwwone up to wwarn you about wwhat just happened to your friend! How did that go? Are you doing alright?"

I nodded.

"Mmhn. Yeah, I'm fine. What about...?"

Ampora and I turned out gazes to the bed where Gamzee lay.

What I saw filled me with dread and... exhilaration.

Gamzee was lying on the steel bed, brows furrowed, muscles clenched extremely tight, even as he was unconscious. Some sort of a purple substance covered his entire shirt, and deep, long gashes in his chest had slashed through his black shirt revealing other scars, smaller, but much more numerous, ones I had seen upon overwhelming curiosity and a slight change of mind, also called a bad idea.

Curiously, the actual blood was further down, more on his pants, and on his neck and shoulders.

The purple was concentrated around his wound, and it almost seemed as if it were his real blood.

His matted black hair stuck to his forehead and perspiration was on his forehead and arms. His white and gray makeup was slightly smeared with even more blood.

I felt a rush of nausea, and I hit the ground, feeling almost as if I would throw up right then and there.

_Gamzee...!_

Ampora stirred above me.

"Tavros! Are you okay? Wwhat happened? Do you feel unwwell?"

I tried to tell him that I was fine, then started coughing dryly, shuddering onto the cold tile.

Clacking on the ground suggested that the nurse had moved to check on me. The black high heels stopped, and a hand (larger than I would have expected) rested on my back, checking my pulse, or something.

And then, the _voice._

A _male _voice called.

"Yeah, he's okay. But you'll have to give him a second for his lungs to clear up. Mostly, I'd guess it's shock. But he'll be fine, no need to wworry, Eridan."

I heard a stifled laugh from above me, and I could feel Mr. Ampora's irritation in the air.

"Diiirk! Shut the hell up! That's not even that funny, and you knoww it!"

Eyes watering, and morbidly confused as to why the nurse was a _male, _I turned to find a man in a woman's dress, and I just about choked again.

A grinning man with black, pointed shades positioned under light blonde hair that stuck out to the side stood, looking devilishly cool. He had a sort of a don't-fuck-with-me-but-I'm-still-kind-of-a-fun-guy air to him and had his arms crossed, fingerless, black leather gloves on his hands with little metal studs. This clashed with his girly fashion sense somewhat well, in an extremely strange and attractive way.

He was wearing a nurse's dress, that stopped mid thigh, with a white turtleneck, and an apron that ruffled around the shoulders, and the shirt sleeves puffed out at the edges and had red lining. The apron was tied firmly around the waist by a silvery, slick-looking white ribbon, and white socks that came up just above his knees were fitted over black converse.

The sight was so bizarre_, _and so unrealistic, I found myself staring at him, dumbfounded, forgetting Gamzee momentarily.

But my head was cleared as... Dirk, I suppose...? looked down at me, frowning slightly.

"Yeah, what're you lookin' at? You need somethin'? Ehh, anyways, I think your friend'll be okay, he'll just need to stay here for a few days'n then he'll be cool... But how in Derse did he get those wounds...?"

"H-huh...? Derse...? What do you mean, uhh, Mister..."

He looked over, his head balanced on the top of his fist, thumb extended behind his chin.

"Eh? Oh, sorry, slip of the tongue. Heh. And my last name s' Strider, but you can call me Dirk, it's fine. It feels weird to have people call me Mr. Strider. Feels wrong, dunno..."

I smiled.

_Heh. I like this guy._

I heard a _humph _behind me, and I turned to find Vantas looking slightly miffed.

"You're really wweird, you knoww that, don't you, Dirk?"

He turned to me.

"Right, Tavros? Isn't he wweird? Don't wworry, it's just him. If you wwant, though, you can call me Eridan! I wwouldn't mind wwone bit!"

Grinning at me at first, an annoyed expression took his face as Dirk scoffed.

You're calling me wweird, Ampora? You're not really wwone to talk, are ya'? And it's okay if he calls you by your shitty first name? What the hell?"

They continued to belittle each other, and I put a hand to my mouth as I started to giggle. They both turned to me, looking dumbfounded at my amusement.

"E-e-ehh? Tavros, wwhaaa?" Eridan exclaimed as I continued to snicker.

"Yeah, what is it? What'd we do?"

Dirk looked slightly challenging, and this made it even funnier, and after a moment, I inhaled, and began speaking to both of them.

"Haha... Nothing, just... both of you are like overly cute right now... Arguing like typical homosexuals, or something..."

Both of them exclaimed in surprise, and looked horrified.

"Ho-homosexuals?!"

I burst out laughing and managed to get out that I was joking.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Trying to find air, trying to find any strength that could only get his fingers away from my neck, trying to chase away the surprise, trying to save any oxygen I could that hadn't already been crushed out of my airway when he had suddenly awoken, attacking me.

Dirk and Eridan work at calming him, getting him to stow away his fury, pull his madness away from his target, Tavros Nitram.

But I can't hold on much longer. And as everything begins to fade, everything also comes back into focus, as his hands lose their will, and they fall from my neck.

His last words before he sleeps againare these:

"_I hate you."_

_**I was literally screaming as I finished this oh my godd THAT IMAGE OF DIRK AS A FUCKING NURSE WOULD NOT GET OUT OF MY HEAD AHAHAHAH HOW CUTE**_

_**Hehe... Please, pray for Gamzee, once again... I'm just too mean to him~ Maybe some blessings would help his situation...? ( (-^-) )**_

_**Annnd, by the way, I do not ship Eridan and Dirk. I don't support any unrealistic pairings, and them as a couple just sounds stupid. I kind of wanted Tavros to tease them for some reason...? 0 w 0 Maybe since both of them are extremely homosexual in the actual Homestuck story...? I love both of them to death, don't get me wrong...!**_

_**RE-vieeew, my lovelies~**_


	8. Chapter 8

…... …... ….. …... …...

_(Gamzee's POV)_

Every day. Every day was the same here. Whether you attended the classes and followed the normal schedule, or stayed here in the nurse's room for rehabilitation, each day passed by monotonously. Except... for one thing.

Tavros had regularly visited me at some point during lunch every single day. He would sit there for the entire four hours, just, I don't know, to be there next to me, or something? He hadn't talked at all during the visits. He would sit there with me though, and that never changed.

Just like how he had disrupted my normal schedule in the nurse's office, he had disrupted my normal everyday life by just appearing and turning things upside-down. And for this I could never forgive him.

How was I _supposed_ to?

Along with Tavros, Karkat had come to visit me once. I had kept my expression blank. This seemed to piss him off, but with Dirk in the room, he didn't dare to hit me. He did crouch low and threaten to beat the shit out of me if I ever attacked him again, though.

Kurloz had told me to be selfish, to get what I wanted in life, so that I wouldn't be unhappy anymore. But, after some thought, I had no idea what I even wanted. After Karkat had put me through so much pain, and hurt, after I couldn't bear another second of the disgust coursing through my veins, I had lashed out at the man, kicking him back off the steel bed.

I had rolled off of it, weak and bleeding, and grabbed a glass bottle filled with hydrogen peroxide, and stumbled over to Karkat, breaking it across his front, trying to hurt him enough so that he wouldn't come after me.

He had cried out so loud, I thought for sure someone would come. I didn't _want _someone to come. I didn't _want_ anyone to see me looking so weak, and helpless. I didn't _want_ them to see how unstable I was to attack Karkat like that.

I tried to get out of the room, my legs slipping and shuddering horribly, but I was knocked down by an extremely infuriated Vantas. Staring up at him, I realized that his triumphant smile pissed me off. But I was _scared. _Again, I was alone, and no one would ever come to help me. But I already knew this.

Furiously, my mind had shot to Tavros.

And I became... not me... again.

_Everything was perfect. I had nothing to worry about._

_What was I so scared of, after all? Karkat?_

"Eehheheh..."

I got up, still holding the broken bottle. Vantas obviously saw the change. Sensed the danger in the air. Knew that he was in trouble.

_Gritting his teeth, he backed slowly to the desk, where he grabbed the pencil cup, holding a pair of scissors. Gripping these, he swiftly slashed them down upon me, cutting open flesh, letting loose a stream of red agony, feeding the ever-hungry presence that lurked down inside._

I had only smiled, finding his plea for existence so pitiful and useless, it drowned all other pain out.

Twice more he had ripped the sharp things down my chest, and only after he realized it was for nothing, did he glance down and see that my blood was... abnormal.

I want to smile now, thinking about it, but it would only bring pain to exercise my muscles that dangerously.

I don't want to think about this anymore...

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Dirk came to check up on me at three o' clock every day, and glancing up sleepily after the nap I had just taken, I noticed he was at my side, in the white chair Tavros always sat in, reading some sort of a gossip magazine.

A slight tilt of the head allowed me to view the clock on the opposite wall, directly across from the bed I had been laying in for a few days. It was 4:39.

"E-ehh. Dirkbro? Whazup, dude, you usually just wake me up when it's 'bout three, man."

He glanced up, face slightly red from whatever he had been reading.

"Huh? Oh, cool, you're awake. Yeah, I was gonna wake you up, but ya' looked really comfortable, so I didn't want to. You doin' okay, Gamz?"

I grinned. Dirk was one of the only people I had ever met that I had liked instantly after meeting.

"Yeah, man. My muscles hurt like a mofo, if I try to move, though. S'it, feelin' real stiff, I guess."

He waved his arm in the air, flapping the magazine dramatically around with it.

"Yeeeah, I thought that might happen. Dude, you were cut in a few different places, and had a bit of internal bleeding. No fuckin' shit, that's gonna hurt for a while."

At this he leaned slightly closer to me, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Don' worry, Gamz. I didn't tell no one about that weird-colored blood you got there. Not even Captor. Thought you didn't need anymore trouble than you already got."

I perked up.

I had totally forgotten about the blood. But here Dirk was cool enough to let me off the hook with _that?_ Man, motherfucking _miracles._

"Oh, god, thanks, Dirky. You're the fuckin' best, ya' know that, man?"

He frowned slightly.

"Dirky...?"

The sound of the door sliding open distracted both of our attentions and we glanced over to see who it was.

Walking around the white sheet that hung on the curtain around my bed, Terezi emerged.

"Yo, dickhead."

She smiled, flicking down her red shades slightly.

"Heey, Terezi, my blind motherfucker! C'mere, ya' ho'!"

Dirk rolled his eyes and smiled as he returned to his girly shit, chuckling at the way we had greeted each other.

She wrapped her arms around me momentarily, then pulled away, grinning. She sat on the bed, and tapped the cold metal with her fingernail.

"Man, this thing is uncomfortable as hell. How you even be sleepin' on this thing? Shit hard as a rock, Gamz."

"Heh. I manage. So, dude, whassup lately? Anything changed while I've been bedridden?"

Her smile dropped, even though I had just been joking with her charmingly.

"Dude..."

"Huh? What, Terez? Somethin' bad's been happenin' since I've been gone?"

She looked disgruntled, then slightly horrified.

"Man, I am getting the biggest negative waves from you right now. What the fuck happened to you, man?"

I saw Dirk glance up, lips slightly parted in interest.

A stab of hesitation, then anxiety, I take charge momentarily.

"Hey, uhhh, Dirky, can you, like leave us for a sec'? Me and Terez', we gotta talk."

He nodded, looking slightly amused.

"Yeah, Gamz. Whatever ya' need."

He got up, and hearing his office door shut, Terezi turned back to me.

"Man, seriously, what the fuck is up with you? The vibes, dude. You ain't right in the head. Whus goin' on?"

I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.

"Ehhh, I dunno what you mean, Terez'...? I did just get sliced up n' all, so what'd ya' expect?"

I don't know why I said that, I knew it was useless to try and fool her. Her intuition was nearly 100% right all of the time. And she knew it, too.

"Dude, don't try that shit with me. I know you too well. Besides, you must really have somethin' on your conscience, 'cause this feelin' I'm gettin' is so jacked up, it's kinda ridiculous. What the fuck _is _it?"

I paused, opened my mouth, then closed it. Terezi looked at me, waiting, a small sideways pout of worry on her black-painted lips.

Again, the noise of the door opening was heard, and this time I sighed to think it was most likely Tavros. Those encounters were awkward and painful, and I didn't really want to see him.

_In fact, it would be better if he were dead._

I looked down, immersed in thoughts, not wanting to see Tavros' face.

Terezi reacted.

"Whoa, man, there you go again. Negative as shit. Hnn'? Oh, hey, Ara...di...a... oh... damn it..."

I looked up furiously.

_Aradia?_

_Why the fuck?_

I growled, low and deep in my throat.

Said woman held up a hand.

"No need to be so angry, Gamzee. I know many things. And I know that you are upset with me, as well as your friend, Tavros. Be calm. Know that it is not his fault. And also, be wary. He is not who he might seem to be."

Terezi glanced over her shoulder at the beautiful Aradia, in a sweeping dark-gray skirt, a black turtleneck pulled over it. She looked mysterious as ever with her black, round eyes, long dark eyelashes, and ebony hair curling and shifting perfectly over her face and cascading down her shoulders elegantly.

Surely a worthy foe.

And Terezi accepts the challenge.

"'Ey, what'cha even want? Why the fuck you botherin' Gamz here with your poems and weird wording? Just tell him, straight, what the fuck you be needin' him for, then get the hell out, douche."

I sighed, and let a little laugh bubble out from my lips.

Both Terezi and Aradia look at me, slight surprise on both of their faces.

"Hehhe... Terez', c'mon, dude. Lay off. What'td ya' even want, Arade? Somethin' about Tavros not being who he is, er, I dunno. I wasn't really listening."

I heard Pyrope snicker, but my eyes stay on Aradia.

She was still calm.

"All I wanted for you to know is that danger comes with the presence of the young Nitram child, and if you are prepared to meet it, then I commend you. But it would certainly be much wiser to stay away from him. I wish you return to good health soon, and I thank you for your time, Mr. Makara."

With a smirk from reddened lips, and a flourish of her hips, she exits the room, and leaves me and Terezi to stare after, minds full of confusion.

All I want now, after this disturbing chat, is to ponder what she said in peace.

Feeling a headache coming on, I rest my head back against the comfort of my pillow.

"Uh-ungh... Sorry, Terez, but I need to think about this for a minute. C-Could ya' just leave for a little bit...? I mean, not to be disrespectful, or anything, but, ughh, damn it, my head hurts! Ugh, sorry, bro, thanks a lot for comin'."

She looked disapproving, but got up anyways, extending her walking stick.

"I'm not givin' up, Gamz. Somethin' is up with you, not like usual. This could be bad. I'm thinkin' of comin' again tomorrow. When d'ya get outta this here dump?"

"Uhh, huh? I-I dunno, Terez. I think, like, in a day or two, maybe? Ask Dirkbro, I really gotta rest again, sorry."

She left, with a sigh, and hearing the door close, only then did I relax.

Closing my eyes, I let all worries drift away, if even for a little while... I would be content...

Or so I hoped.

Because in reality, I wouldn't be getting any sleep at all. Like always.

So why was I so uneasy?

**Heehheh. Just if you guys wanted to know, I only write this while listening to music. I really like the music for Homestuck, especially Karkat's theme, Galaxy Hearts, Dave's Theme, Candles and Clockwork(Alpha), Megolavania, etc. Along with that, I love J/K-pop and alternative rock bands. Not that you guys care haha =_= Just writin' random stuff...**

**On another note, I just caught up completely with Homestuck yesterday~ I feel so achieved (sob sob) What am I doing with my time...? * winks * Review, dearies!**


	9. Chapter 9

…... …... …... …... …... …... ..

_(Gamzee's POV)_

Two days later, I was feeling better than ever with Dirk's help and _a lot _of resting. Terezi had come by to see me every day, and we never chatted any further over my "negative vibe" or whatever the fuck, but she did seem genuinely worried about me.

In a way, this stunned me, because I had never really felt cared about, much less _worried about. _Terezi was swiftly becoming an extremely important part in my life, once again, but this time I could say accurately much more so.

Along with Terezi, John had started visiting me as well during lunch hours. We had talked, not like we had in a while, and for some reason my refreshing life living in a bed was much more homely and comfortable than I had ever felt, and my stomach dropped horridly every time I thought of leaving the comfort of the room I had grown so attached to, even in one that I had been so... scarred in only a few days previously...

My mouth worked itself into a displeasured grimace, but it lifted as Dirk entered.

Dirk, I could truthfully say, had grown to be a sort of older-brother figure for me, as he treated me with respect that I had never received in my life. He was funny, kind in his own way, and slightly profane.

Out of instinct, I glanced up at the clock, finding the time to have flown already to 12:44 at night. The sky was dark, and the sound of footsteps had long since faded. Not that I minded the quiet one bit.

"Hey, Dirky, whatsup?"

I grinned, knowing his reaction to that nickname he disliked so much would always be the same, and this time the end result wasn't any different than I would have expected it, either.

"Uggh, dude, can you fuckin' stop callin' me that, already? Y'know I hate it, Gamz, so quit it."

At this he sighs.

"Yeeeah, anyways, I just thought you should get some sleep. I don't really give a fuck when you go to sleep, since it's not my business, but tomorrow you have to start attending classes again, so... yeah. Just my opinion. 'Ya need anything right now, dude? I'll go get it for you, if you want."

I blinked.

How nice of him. _Heh._

Clearing my throat, I speak.

"Actually, I'm kinda craving somethin' salty. Can I go down to the vendin' machine?"

He turns away to go back to his office, and without looking at me, he answers.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't care, man. Do what ya' want."

I swing my legs out of the bed and clench my bedsheets with shaking fingers, trying to work up my courage.

"Ummm, actually, Dirkbro..."

I pause, then listen to hear him stop and come peek around the curtain, gripping it with a black-gloved hand.

"What?"

"Uhhh, can you walk down _with _me, maybe...? If you have the time, I mean... er, damn it... whatever. You know what I mean."

He looked blankly at me for a second, then grinned.

"Yeah, man. 'S fine with me."

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Hallways were darkened, quiet, and the moon's bright beams of light pierced through windows meant for receiving that light, lighting the hallway, this being the only means of sight on our trip to the large metal box that served fattening snacks meant for momentary pleasure.

Our steps were slow, and unhurried. As we paced down the mysterious hallways, Dirk shoved his hands into his pockets, then brought it out, producing a cigarette box.

Moments later, one was lit, and found its way to his mouth, which he puffed at.

A few more clacks from his black high-heels, and his voice pierced the comfortable silence between us.

"Don't ever smoke, Gamzee. It'll ruin you."

I scoffed and turned to his face, which was looking away from mine, facing forwards.

"Then what the hell are you doing right now, dumbass? And besides, do I seem the kind of person who would smoke to you?"

At this, he used two fingers to bring the cigarette out of his mouth as he started laughing, then choking and coughing all at the same time.

He bent over and gripped the wall, then let the thing drop from his hand as she shook uncontrollably with laughter.

I growled.

"Fuck you, _Dirky._"

He got up, now barely chuckling, finally took a few breaths, and _started to fucking laugh again._

I sighed, and slumped down against the painted brick walls, closing my eyes momentarily, feeling an after burn no doubt from over-exertion.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

"Are you fucking kidding me? Jeez, you must have been laughing for like ten minutes."

"Aw, man, it wasn't that long. It was only like a minute, or something."

"No. Dude, you were, like, uncontrollably pissing yourself for some fucking retarded reason for like, two hours."

Dirk laughed.

"Gamz, shut the fuck. Up. Do you even know what you're talking about right now?"

"...yeah."

"Heh... It was just that... hehe... I dunno, you just seem to totally make the perfect stoner boy."

I fell silent, once again susceptible to my facade, but I managed to work up a weak laugh after a second.

"Haha... totes, man."

We were quiet all the way to the vendor, and once we got there we just kind of stood in front of the thing.

"Uhhh, got any cash on you, Gamzee?"

I chuckled.

"Fuck no. Where would I come up with that shit?"

We both laughed now.

"Wow, I feel dumb, Gamz. We didn't really think this out at all, did we?"

"Hehehe... haha... No, we really didn't, hahehe..."

Suddenly Dirk turned to me, a slight pink tint on his cheeks.

"Uhh, hey, Gamz, actually, I kind of agreed because I had something I had to go do... but... uh, you can go back to the room on your own, can't you...? I'll be back in about an hour or two, if you need me, but... hehe, yeah, I really gotta run, man."

I smiled, pretty sure of what he was up to.

"Yeah, dude. You can go have fun. I'll be fine."

He jumped slightly as he was walking away, then turned, a scared and extremely embarrassed look on his face.

"F-fun? Ahaha... I wonder what the hell y'could mean by that...?"

I shoved at his back, and pushed him forwards a few steps.

"Go fuckin' _on, _man! Just meet with your boyfriend or whatever, already!"

He resisted with his feet, pushing me, while his face heated, and arms flailed.

"Ga-a-a-amze-e-e! Shut uuup, and let me fuckin' walk already, ya' bastaaard!"

I let him jog away, fuming as I chuckled and made my way back to the room.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

A few minutes down the hall, the chilled air cooling my skin, relaxing me, I let my mind drift momentarily as I rested my mind for the first time in days.

And I stop.

There, in the middle of the hallway, suddenly feeling so tired, so serene, and at peace with everything.

And... nothing. Nothing could wreck that at the moment.

Except...

"_Tavros?!"_

Randomly. Lying there at the side of the hallway, slightly curled into a ball, and small, fragile hands pulled up to his chest.

"What the fuck? Tavros?"

I notice he is sleeping. Sleeping, though perhaps not so peacefully. His expression is pained and his breathing seems to be forced. A few strands of dark brown hair hang over his eyes, and noticing this, I sort of involuntarily sit down next to him, and shift them out of his face.

He does not react to this in any way, and I find myself regaining the interest and affection I had first held for him.

Why had I gotten so _angry _at him?

Why was it his fault?

And how did I forget?

Suddenly I feel a pain in my chest.

"Ughhk-"

Swiftly reaching up, I claw up to my heart, and clench the black shirt there. The aching... it all comes back now, suppressed in days of comfort and relaxation.

_Why?_

I'm... so selfish. Thinking that this situation was his fault. It was my own emotions, out of check, and left uncatered to for so long that made things how they are now. Tavros, he always, always, only wanted to simply _help._

But I've turned him away, not wanting to see him, or talk to him, blaming him, and he has felt the shame many more times over than I could have possibly thought.

I _hurt _him.

I hurt, and betrayed him, though a sweet little kid like him didn't deserve it. Like he didn't deserve to have me as a friend. But how _worried _he must have been!

Pushing all of this self-anger away, I consult Tavros, lying there, still in an uneasy sleep beneath me.

"Tav-tavros...? Are you okay, man?"

I hear my voice crack, and I want to cry.

What the hell?

"Tavros? T-tav? Please?"

I lower my head until it is touching his chest, and I struggle to pull myself together.

Sniffling, and a few tears following, rolling down my painted cheeks, the thundering hatred and darkness ensues, rolling over me in my time of weakness.

_What the fuck are you doing._

Go away. I don't want to talk to you right now. Tavros is in trouble.

_Fuck you. Crying like a goddamn pussy. What's wrong with you, Gamzee? I thought you had decided to be strong? To use that to your advantage to become stronger? What happened to make you a sniveling piece of shit again?_

I... Nothing good came from shutting out my emotions like that. Tav got hurt, and... I...

I felt the sudden, overwhelming urge to vomit, but I clamped my mouth shut, and shook my head.

_What? You couldn't even stand a little Karkitty? I thought you wanted affection, bitch._

That wasn't affection! He was using me to get off, like always!

_Still more than you'll ever receive, or have received._

You're... wrong. He... Tavros told me that he's my friend. Before. In class.

_Ha! You think that-_

Go the fuck away. I don't ever want to hear your nasty-ass voice ever again. Kurloz.

_Hmn. I'll go. But I will be back. I can't be separated from you, you know. Ever. I am a part of you, as the stem is of a flower. Hmph. Well, see ya._

I feel Kurloz' weight lift off of me, and dread seeps into my veins.

Can't be separated from me?

But, there are other, more important things to attend to at the moment than my mental state.

"Tavros...? Tav-"

A fit of coughing, then more tears slide down my cheeks.

It's... too overwhelming.

And suddenly I look at his perfect, heart-shaped face, and take in the milky skin, black, thick eyelashes. Everything about him.

And, without thinking about it, without paying heed to my screaming senses, my racing heart, and instead following my heart, my desires, my pain, I make a choice.

Eyelids lowering, as I draw closer to him, to those barely-parted lips.

And I betray myself in that moment, there, kissing him so slowly, so softly, never thinking I could be as loving and melancholic as I had.

And I wish. I wish that this could somehow... work.

**Eeeeeeeekkk~ I finally did it! After nine chapters, I've finally decided to give them a break and start the romance! Ugh, how sadly... cute. Well, please, please tell me your thoughts on this! Or... something. I haven't gotten hardly any reviews at all for two chapters, and either my writing is getting worse, or you guys are becoming lazy... Well, understandable, I suppose, but since this is a special chapter, would you mind telling me something? Anything? = _ =**


	10. Chapter 10

_(Tavros' POV)_

**Blanketed in soft folds, here away from anyone else, I had a land of my own to sleep in, to rest in. To fade away from all worries, issues, to give my weak, aching mind a break.**

**But here, in the ever promised warmth of my own mind, an image of ****_him _****lingers. Even here, he never flees my mind. I can't do it. I want solitude. I was ****_promised_**** solitude. But he probes into the darkest corners of my mind, so that I have his image permanently burned into my psyche.**

_**Gamzee.**_

**Why is it that his face won't leave me?**

**I thought he hated me?**

**If so... then.**..why is he...

I come to, in the dark hallway I had fallen into my intoxicated sleep in, not but an hour ago, to find a strange sensation running through my muscles. Through...

Gamzee?!

He was... crying. Holding the neck of my shirt, his fingers shaking and quivering as he worked his dry lips over mine.

I didn't act stunned. I didn't move.

But at the same time I felt myself being overwhelmed by a sort of strange feeling I was receiving. The only thing I did recognize, which was so prominent in his kiss, was the deep emotion of agony.

He broke away from me, and tapped his head to my chest, shivering.

Whispering a single phrase over and over again.

Becoming more audible after a moment or two, I realize that he is saying, "I'm sorry."

But this I do not understand.

**Sorry? For what? I don't comprehend...**

However, the feelings in my stomach, racing, tell me otherwise. Lying to myself is easier, though, and I know it.

"Gam...zee...?"

He pushes himself up so that his tear-stained face is hovering over mine, arms shaking horribly.

"Tav-vros... Oh my g-god, I'm s-so sor-ry. I-I don't even k-know why I di-did that t-to you..."

So... he instantly assumed that I was going to hate him for that, even though he obviously had feelings even he couldn't quite accept, let alone understand?

But, Gamzee... in only a few days, became the most precious thing in my life. I, not even knowing what exactly he did or said to influence me so, but...

All I knew is that I had never felt repulsed, or sickened by him in any way, and that... well, even my thoughts on him had to go unconfirmed for the moment, seeing as they were to complicated for the regular me to work through.

But, Gamzee. He needed some reassuring. That he wasn't at fault, and most of all, he simply hadn't done anything wrong.

**It wasn't his fault!**

I smile sleepily, and hook my arms around his waist to pull him back down on me.

"T-a-a-avros, wh-wha? Umm, I'm so sorry, please, I-I just-!"

"Gamzee... shhh, it's okay... You're fine. Please, just, don't leave. Don't leave me ever again."

I felt resentment and sorrow stirring up again.

"Ever..."

And large tears start spilling down my cheeks, and I begin sobbing softly, flinching as his warm arms shakily wrap around my own.

Soon his quavering breaths warm my neck, dry my tears, and his mouth finds its way to mine again, both of our lost souls seeking comfort in no other way but hurried love and faltering loyalty. But, each of us, knowing nothing else, accept this, as I accept his tongue, sliding over mine, and more tears come cascading down as Gamzee's guilt deepens for taking advantage of me, I'm sure.

I pull away, mewling softly, and take his white cheeks in my hands softly.

Our next words are whispered.

"Gamzee... Are you-"

"Tavros, please motherfuckin' forgive me! I-I didn't mean ta'- I mean, I just, well a lot of-"

I silence him with another breathy kiss, and finally stopping the barrage of kisses, he begins to giggle slowly.

And then I start as well, hugging him onto the cold floor beneath us.

But, again, our happiness is cut short by fate. Another person's footsteps sounding extremely close.

Gamzee freezes, and I hear him hurriedly whispering a list of names.

"Aradia, Captor, K-Karkat, no, no, no, not the Vantas please... Not any of them..."

I fall silent and press myself to his chest, trying to protect myself against whomever it might be.

But after a moment, the steps die down, presumably down another hallway, and I feel Gamzee tense, then rise, pulling me up from around the waist.

"Come on, Tav. We have to get back to the room. _Now_."

We set off at a nice pace, jogging, and Gamzee slunk around, pulling me by the wrist with a quietness I would not have expected from him.

After a moment, I noticed we had passed the stairwell.

"G-gamz? Where are we going?"

I heard him laugh from ahead.

"Hehe. Now you're callin' me that, too? Nice."

I blushed.

"Erm... Yeah. But..."

"We're goin' back to my room, man. Can't have you motherfuckin' alone tonight."

"A-Alone?"

He seemed to be implying that the both of us sleep together in the small bed, after an encounter like this, even after about half a week of solitude in our own separate spaces. Different floors.

Sounded... like... something was different about Gamzee.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

We reached the room about two or three minutes later, and by then, I was _extremely_ tired.

Ready for a bed, that is, one way or another.

But, under these peculiar circumstances, things would certainly be much more fun.

"Gamzee... I'm r-really tired... Um..."

He looked away, blushing madly.

"I'm sure that sleep can soon be arranged."

Then he turned.

"Dirky isn't back yet, so you can just make do with my bed for now if you want."

Then he pointed to the mess of blankets and a few pillows.

"Welcome, my lady, to the land of beauty."

I giggled.

**Here it was again... His ability to invoke such happiness in me like no other had with the simplest of words, dumbest of jokes.**

**Maybe it was him, himself?**

Nevertheless, I crawled into the comforter Gamzee held up for me, and snuggled into the metal. He entered the space after me, fitting his pale arms around my body and almost instantly I realized what the situation was.

Two barely-sixteen kids, alone on a bed, just having extremely recently confirming their mutual attractions, still both _very _ready for anything that might come.

My eyelids lowered, as did Gamzee's, as he took a position above me. I heard shallow breathing above, and I flinched, looking up, my arms cradled to my chest.

His expression is one of awe and, yet he seems extremely hesitant to touch me in any way. I think, that he might still have been wary about me in general, not to mention he had only just apologized in his own way, so to start something like this, he might have been thinking, was out of the question.

And, truthfully, I didn't want him provoking me right now, at least not much more than kissing, if anything at all.

I didn't know if starting this with him in the first place was the right thing to do or not, either, but certainly it had helped Gamzee in one way or another. I knew... that he was special to me. I didn't know if it was because he was my friend, or if... if I really was... in... _love._

The word just _feels_ foreign. The problem is that, even if I was in... love with him, I wouldn't know it. And I'm sure Gamzee is no less ignorant that I am about love. Right now, he is just acting on primeval desires, and the need to fulfill his aching heart.

Especially from right here under him, I can feel it.

His dying heart.

So when he leans down, and dominates me again, everything seems wrong, and I know he feels it, too.

My suspicions are confirmed when he tilts to the side, and thumps next to me, his back on the bed, a hand over his forehead.

I hear him mumble something, then-

"I can't do fuckin' nothing. I'm so sorry... Why did I even let that thought run through my head? Why did I even try and make somethin' happen? Why did..."

He breaks off as his voice hitches and I turn, stare at his blocked features, only seeing his mouth, which is curled into a grimace. After a few moments, I notice movement and see a single tear roll down his cheek.

My face softens.

I reach my arms out in front of me, gesturing to Gamzee.

"Gamz... come here..."

My voice is soft, too. Hushed. Reassuring.

He takes the arm off of his forehead, and rolls over to me, where I pull him to my chest, and he stays there, by the clock, about half an hour, sniffling and trying to calm his emotions.

"Gamzee... d'you... want to talk about it?"

I hear another sniffle, then-

"About what, Tavros? You fuckin' _know_ that there's never going to be anything between us, other than maybe friendship born of motherfuckin' pity. Why the hell would you have any feelin's for me? I'm Gamzee Makara, the unlovable. The useless."

He shifts, clenching his body further, and he attempts to muffle a sob.

To be honest, that was the first time since I had been _**broken**_that someone had startled me like that.

**I had known that Gamzee was harboring a lot of hate, a lot of sadness, but I didn't know that any of those feelings were directed towards himself...! Again... someone blaming themselves... It wasn't something he could control, though! ****_Why was he blaming himself?!_**

I felt my mind haze over with anger, but I managed to pull myself together for Gamzee's sake.

"B-but, none of that... why are you blaming yourself? It-it's not fair..."

He looked up, his face completely streaked over with glossy tears.

"Huh...? Tavros...? I... don't understand... Not my fault? I don't fuckin' g-get it..."

I grimace.

**Ah... I see. So he must have been broken in, as well. **

**In some way or another.**

Shrugging off this realization, I try and make an effort to calm him, but upon trying to speak, my throat becomes clogged and I end up crying hysterically right along with Gamzee as we both hold each other close.

Finding myself somewhat more able to speak after a few minutes, I brush some of the tears out of my eyes, and begin to try and speak once more in a quavering voice.

"Gamzee, how could you ever think that you aren't loved, I mean what about-"

And here, at the worst time possible, my breath hitches.

**Staring ahead into nothingness, I freeze up, and a million miles away, someone, somewhere, near, far? Someone, someone, says... ****_something?_**

**My name.**

**My name, a thousand times over and over. Because what ****_is _****my name, after all? **

**Tav...**

**ta...**

**And then it fades. Who could I be? Anyone I want, really.**

No. No, no. Not right now. This is bad. Gamzee needs me. He needs me. Or else... Oh, god, please, just this once, please please do not do this to me right now.

**I grin, finding a perfect form I could become. Seize their personality, now that I am no longer... Ta... Tar...? I don't even know anymore.**

**The darkness inside agrees, too. **

Ughhh, please, no, not right now. Go... _away! Get out!_

**Hmm? What's this? Not this one? Why... not? He doesn't want to?**

**Frowning, I decide to leave for now. But, I know soon I will be back to try again.**

Gasping for air, trying to fill my lungs with air, instead of nausea.

Looking sideways, I see Gamzee looking at me with a very scared expression. Speechless, as well as wide eyes confirm this fact further, adding to his morbidly surprised expression.

"Ta..."

I cough violently, and feel his arms around me as I settle a bit.

"Gamz... zee... How could you think that no one loves you...? What... about Terezi? Dirk...? Erid-eridan. John. E-even Mituna talks about you while you're gone, man... A-and... what... about me...?"

His eyes widen at this, his mouth a perfectly straight line.

"Ho-how could we hate you if we h-hung arou-round you so mu-much?"

I smile, but it comes out kind of weak and after I begin coughing again, I'm not sure how convincing I was.

**Still... I never lie.**

**I... really... do...**

**I might actually...**

**come to...**

**Or, no, even now, I might...**

**L-lo-**

But now, after this, Gamzee goes through his first stage of overcoming being _**broken in.**_

Rejecting such a concept that goes against his ways of life.

But I never thought that he would...

Bite his flesh like that. Rip it away harshly, his eyes once again, as they were that day, a bright, sunny blue.

Rejecting pain, everyone.

I only hoped as I screamed, so loud, that he wouldn't reject me once again.

And leave me with no one but Kurloz.

**There. (pouts) I wrote two chapters for you guys. Fourteen pages. All posted today. Maybe I'll resolve this nicely and add some more GamTav in Chapter Eleven... But this is what happens when you don't review. ANGST, more angst. Well, it might be due to the fact that I replayed [S]: Find the Highbl00d (Search for, kill, or something, I don't remember =_=) Well, anyways, Equius was and still is one of my top three fave characters, and that he had such a ****_silly smile _****on his face when he died, for Nepeta, just makes me want to burst into tears ****_every time I think about it _****T ^ T**

***sniff* Anyways, I think I might give Gamz and Tavbro (heh heh) a break next chapter. Dunno, depends onhow many reviews I get for these two chapters. (nudges harshly in the side)**

**On another note, I'm going to be cosplaying Sollux for my next con, which is next Saturday~ Eek, I'm so ****_excited_****! I love me some Captor action :P Especially Mitunaaa~**

**Review! :c**


	11. Chapter 11

…... …... …... …... …...

**Mood darkened. Red flesh exposed. Insanity charged. Nothing right. Yet somehow, I feel giddy.**

**And bile churns at the back of my burning throat as his heaving chest slightly touches mine with each horrid breath he takes. He is quivering, eyes open wide, pupils massively dilated and mouth tipped upwards into a crazed grin, his sharp canines exposed.**

**I tip my head down and try and ignore his frenzied expression, which easily pierces the mist that finds its way into my head now. I suppose that my mental state has made things easier for Him. **

**But ****_Gamzee's_**** state, I feel, has unnerved even Him. He is restless that such a person could affect him so. **

**I shiver, floating, faceless, pale in my own drugged sleep. **

**Wondering how he did this to me. Wondering why I made the choices I had this very night.**

**Provoking him so. Going along with him. **

**But what I really, really, could not, for the first time in my life somewhat comprehend, was why he held my interest so. I knew that it was not "love at first sight" or any of that ridiculous nonsense, and I also knew that it had nothing to do with sexual attraction whatsoever, either. **

**All I knew was that my break of character had led to further trouble for both of us. Things were not handled the way they should have been, that was for sure.**

**But still... what was it about him...?**

**Was it his obviously fake personality, the sweet nature that he let slip every once in a while? His overwhelming self-hatred? His scars? His... abnormal blood?**

**I grimaced. That could definitely get him into a lot of trouble, if someone found out.**

…**...or maybe they already had.**

**I open my eyes again when he begins sobbing softly, large tears running down his face, even while he is still smiling, but his mouth twitches now.**

**And then a horrid thought comes to me, churning and disturbing the thick mist.**

**Did****_ I_**** do this to him?**

**I told him something I shouldn't have... right?**

**So that's why...?**

**And then he coughs. And something happens that intrigues the both of Us.**

**His eyes flicker- from a clear light blue back to their normal ebony.**

**He seems to be fighting something as his body twitches spasmodically and he convulses away from my grip. His body flails, and I feel him thump to the ground, his mangled arm slapping on the white tile, splattering violet.**

**Scrambling over the sheets to peek over the bed, I find Gamzee, still gasping on the ground in mental stress.**

**And suddenly my body bends in on itself as the situation overwhelms me. Eyes snap shut as the unstoppable tears come, dripping out from underneath my quavering eyelids.**

**Arms bend to the dampening sheets, and I shakily lower myself onto the ground, drawing in deep breaths. Reaching out to touch one of Gamzee's shoulders, I end up pulling away swiftly as he begins to speak.**

"**TAVROS... I'M SO... MOTHER...FUCKIN' SORRY... I JUST... W-WANT NOTHING ELSE THA-THAN TO MOTHERFUCKIN'... KILL YOU...**

**NO! NO, NO... I ONLY, ONLY EVER WANTED TO... TO-UGH!"**

**A sharp intake of breath and he clutches his shirt in agony.**

**And I feel at a loss. **

**I seriously did not know what I should do about the situation. **

**I didn't know how to deal with what was happening, or how to react whatsoever to this. **

**I was lost.**

**And just as the reality is about to sink in completely, I hear His voice, swirling around my bare form, and out of my lips, taking on the situation for his own.**

**So I listen in earnest, waiting.**

"_**Both of you... settle down. There is nothing to be gained from this behavior whatsoever.**_

_**Now calm yourselves."**_

**Stifling a laugh, I realize how motherly the plauging mist had sounded.**

**But I tune my thoughts out again as I glance down to Gamzee below me, and I notice the disturbing coloration of his eyes.**

**One light, one dark.**

**One surprised, teary, blood-stained face.**

**That quickly shifts to an evil smirk that sends shivers throughout my spine.**

"_**BOTH OF US, EH...? YOU'RE ONE TO MOTHERFUCKIN' TALK."**_

**The mist urges me, controls me, and I find my lips moving into a ferocious and challenging grin.**

"_**How horrid. Your speech mannerisms. It sickens me. Ah, and, would you mind leaving the poor boy to his own self-pity? I'm sure you don't help much with that."**_

**His smirk tilts into a dangerous grimace and he growls deep in his throat. **

"**THIS ISN'T OVER, BITCH. NEXT TIME HIS DEFENSES LOWER, I WILL BE ****_SO_**** MUCH MOTHERFUCKIN' WORSE. I PROMISE YOU THAT."**

**I sigh, feeling relieved, and a weight lifts off of my chest, as the Mist and the other prescence lurking within Gamzee leaves as well, to where ever they may go when they exit our minds.**

**But ****_RUFIOH _****speaks to me now. And it has been so long, so long since he has ever made any sort of recognition to me, I feel seriously endangered when he does say something, leaving no choice but for me to accept what he says.**

_**You'd better be grateful, Tavros. I did you a favor, but don't ever expect another again. I mainly didn't want to see such an interesting specimen go to waste, you know? Oh, well. You can thank me by not bitching when I use your body again.**_

**And I can swear he is grinning now.**

_**See ya real soon. Heh heh.**_

**And t**he nausea hits me, straight in the abdomen.

Horrible, I want to throw up.

But I shakily lean down and take Gamzee from around the armpits, and lie him back onto the bed, his eyelids fluttering.

And I genuinely feel worried for him. So much that my stomach feels as if it is coiling itself into a knot, and squeezing. All as I feel a sort of overwhelming affection for the broken Makara. I want to... help him.

But I can't. I can't do anything.

This blooming feeling, this passion that might seem to be generated from pity.

In fact, it is not, but the little things about him that interest me so much. That I just can't stop thinking about.

His playful smirk, his matted hair, and fidgety, rumpled appearance. How he takes short little breaths as he sleeps, and just can't stop seeming to dote on me.

From the start, he always helped me out.

Even when I gave him access to what he wanted, he never took it.

And even though I had never experienced it, even though I didn't believe in the concept, I figure that this is... something similar to human setiment. Neither of us understood it. But now I accepted that Gamzee was the one I chose.

Did he choose me too, or did he give up on me after I so rudely discarded him?

The answer was all too clear.

**Hmn. Ugh. I am literally overwhelming myself with feels as I write this. How does that even work. Oh god, one misfortune after another seems to happen to those two, doesn't it? Also, I apologize for the mistake with Rufioh's name in the last chapter, I will fix that, I promise! (I called him Kurloz) **

**Ummm... Please enjoy and review!**


	12. Chapter 12

…... …... ….. …... …... …...

_(Tavros' POV)_

As his eyelids finally flutter shut for the night, I busy myself by rummaging through Dirk's things and finding disinfectant, bandages, and towels.

Walking to the sink in the main patient room, I run some water over one of the towels, then squeeze it out.

I make my way back to the bed and wipe the blood off of his shirt and face, then carefully, carefully off of his arm, and he winces and breath hitches slightly as I do so. And my face softens for him. My stomach churns again, but I do not react outwardly, as my worry for Gamzee at the moment far surpasses any I might hold for myself.

I take the disinfectant and slowly pat it onto his deep-purple wound, and dress it accordingly. At this I relax slightly, but then frown at the poorly-attended injury.

Sighing, I decide that I can have Dirk treat him further tomorrow. But first, (and glancing up at the clock, finding it to be four in the morning) I would have to get some sleep since we had to get up for classes in about eight hours, which was plenty of rest, that is, if it took my hold instantly after cradling next to Gamzee in the small bed.

But if the heavy weight beneath my dark eyes weren't enough indication, the drooping shoulders and pain in my head made it a fact that I was ready for bedtime to come, anyways. So I crawled into the bed, and fanned out the few blankets we would share over our bodies.

As I lay down, and realized I would be falling once again into the safe refuge of my mind momentarily, a noise from across me startled me slightly.

Gamzee was talking in his sleep, and I instantly quieted myself completely. The room more silent now, I understand him better. And he was saying...

"Un... …...hhh.…... …... …... N... n...nnnh... KK... …... …...bucket... fill..."

I sighed, and relaxed my shoulders, smiling.

It was just nonsense.

But, then...

"...he-help... …."

And I sighed outwardly, and decided that I _really, really_ needed to sleep.

And sleep came.

_But minutes after Tavros fell asleep, Gamzee whispered something once again in his sleep. _

_Something that would have changed things between them forever, if the Nitram boy had only stayed awake a little bit longer. However, the exhausted child did not. _

_And this changed what their outcomes may have been. For better or for worse, we may not know what those outcomes could have been for a long time. Just like we may not hear what exactly he had said for a long, long time._

_However, in Tavros' lifetime, he would only hear what Gamzee had said just then once more. But had he heard it then, you can be almost positive that things may have instantly worked out between them. You could also be almost positive that they would no longer be friends, let alone mates. Either way is equally possible. You may even know what he had muttered in the dead of night already. _

_But for now, we have to return to their story. _

_And finish their tale of agony, love, friendship, and finding what is really important._

_Our story starts again with a very tired Makara waking to find he remembers nothing..._

_(Gamzee's POV)_

I've been sitting here on this steel bed for the last thirteen minutes, according to the clock on the opposite wall.

And thinking.

What exactly did I do to get this aching in my head, my arm, my heart? What for...?

I turn, once again to Tavros beside me and decide blankly that he should be able to tell me once he rouses.

I shift my head back over to the clock and analyze that the time is now eleven-eighteen.

Hmn. We should get up soon, or it'll be like last time.

Debating in my head for a few minutes on whether I should rouse him or not, but deciding against it, I lie my head back against the cushy pillow and close my eyes softly.

It feels to only be a few minutes, but when I hear the familiar clacking of Dirk's heeled high-tops, I open my eyes, and sit up stretching, and find the time to have have flown forward half an hour I groan, and shake the boy next to me out of his stupor.

I hear Strider chuckle as Nitram doesn't wake and, I tired, give up, and slump back down against the comfort of my bed.

A pause.

Clacking, fading away. Another pause.

Coming this way again, high heels.

Then- a scraping of metal, and my brows furrow, but I don't open my eyes, still too tired.

And a _shunk_ of slicing, and I bolt up suddenly.

"Dirk? What the fuck're you doin'?"

And then I uncontrollably gasp, in a trembling way when I see Dirk has a black katana stuck into the floor, his hand on it.

And then I relax as I see he is joking around with me, his face twisted into a half-smile.

"Get up," he says.

I laugh, and swing my legs off of the bed.

That was a new way to be woken up. Katana threats.

Tavros just shifts over, and grumbles something sleepily.

And I jump onto him, straddling his legs, pinning him down underneath me, on his back. Dirk chuckles, then kneels on the bed behind me and strikes a ridiculously flamboyant pose with his sword, including a peace sign, a hand over my shoulder, and a serious expression that he works hard to keep.

And now Tavbro finally rouses, perfectly.

"Hmmmn...? Gam...zee? Is that you? What're you d-d-doing...?" he says as he yawns the last word.

And his eyes open slightly, he blinks, then-

"_Ahhhhhhh! What the hell? No! Don't stab me!"_

And I crumple to the bed in laughter, whereas Dirk falls sideways off of the bed, rolling around, and taking in sucking breaths of shaking hysteria.

But Tavros looks at us with wide eyes, a flushed face, and confused features.

And we don't even hear the door open.

Or notice the two faces peeking around the corner of the curtain of our bed.

However, Dirk, rolling, then noticing them, gives a high-pitched scream as he sees the sudden appearance, making me laugh even harder, gripping the sheets in my hands harder in mirth.

Nepeta and Terezi look just as confused as Tavros when they witness the strange scene playing out around them. Dirk, with a katana, me, over Tavros, and him, the Nitram, flushed and scared.

I wonder what they think happened here. _(wink wonk)_

And for once, things seem right as Terezi shifts her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, and scoffs, amused.

"Dude, hurry the fuck up. You even know what time it is?"

And Nepeta helps Dirk to his feet slyly.

"We came to get you guys! We didn't want the two of you missing any more days..."

I blink.

"The two of us...?"

And I look over at Tavros, who shyly ducks his head.

"Um... yeah... I skipped... a bit..."

But I pull him to his feet, wrap an arm around his waist, and watch everyone in the room, and grin as their eyes widen.

"Give us some alone time," I say.

"It's important."

Tavros just blushes, and tilts his head to my chest.

**Eeek! I am sorry for the late update, but I was sick for a few days, and I have more of a workload on my first two days of school than I would have expected... :/ Welll, I think some more romance between those two would be in order, do you not think? : ) **

**However, I will not begin doing so until I receive some yes's in the form of reviews, though, hun, 'cause I never can tell if y'all are likin' where I'm going with this horrible story.**

**Thank y'allz for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

…... …... …... …...

_(Tavros' POV)_

I honestly don't know what to think as my gaze drifts off to where the sounds of Dirk chuckling lowly at Terezi's gay jokes, and Nepeta's frenzied growls that follow.

I don't know what to think, when finally turning back to Gamzee, to find him smirking at me, dangerously, erotic, and almost instantly I find myself looking down at my feet, a hand pulling at my left wrist behind my back.

Gamzee takes a step forwards, looking as if he is on the brink of laughter, and for a strange, horrid moment I wonder if he is succumbing to his madness once again, but my theory fades, my grip loosens, and my back hits the white wall behind me and none of it matters because he is kissing me again.

And, oh god it is different. It's stirring something needy inside of my chest, burning within, raising embers and setting us ablaze. It's sending rockets of electricity throughout my senses with every caress, every moment, and lord do I want more.

I don't understand, and at the same time I do, but finding that his lips on mine is extremely distracting to these thoughts, it simply doesn't matter anymore.

His slender fingers are brushing my cheekbones, then finding their way into my hair and clawing sharply into my scalp, my hands twitch, pulling up to my chest, and I feel my back arch further against the white bricks.

He slips me the tongue, running over mine in a way where I just can't help but spasm into his intoxicating touch.

And suddenly he isn't touching me anymore, and the places he was just at feel cold in comparison. I feel the need to say something, something that questions, but I just can't find the words, and he sort of slouches awkwardly, looking away casually.

And I study his face, noticing most of his makeup has smeared off, and I find that how normal he looks is unnerving. My mind suddenly conjures up an image of him in a preppy sweater complete with slacks, a backpack slung over one shoulder, and a sort of roguish grin on his face.

Trying to get this horribly unpleasant and unattractive image out of my mind, I decide finally to leap forwards slightly and hug him.

"Ga-aamzee..."

He flinches, and slowly brings his arms to lightly rest on my lower back.

And I raise my head so that I am looking at him, our lips inches apart, hooded eyes and uncontrollable smile giving away my intentions, and I giggle, resting my head on his shoulder momentarily before coming up and kissing him so softly, sweetly then somehow we are on the bed, hands stroking underneath shirts, legs shifting over another, and when breaking out into a frenzied fit of giggles into the Juggalo's mouth is unavoidable, I hear him mumble, "O-oh, god, Tavros..."

But snickering behind us makes me jump, and suddenly Terezi is there, laughing her ass off on the white floor in an instant.

"Nitram, what the hell? That was hot as_ fuck_, man! Never knew you were so dominant, though."

Here she snorts, bringing Nepeta disdainfully to her side, who swats her with a flattened hand.

But Pyrope only laughs, highlighting my horribly red face even further.

Finding an excuse, Gamzee and I get hastily off of the bed, and in an instant we are washing up in the bathroom, brushing hair, scrubbing faces, then in another five minutes.

Before I leave, I stop at the door, staring at Dirk, and leap forwards to hug him, and his hesitates, then I feel his sarcastic grin, and he is squeezing me to his apron. Gamzee receives a ruffle of his hair, and Dirk, his voice breaking as he does so, tells the Makara he can come back and visit any time, saying it's lonely in the cold white office all day with no one to hang with. Gamzee promises to visit him everyday, and an enthralled Strider, eyes shining, finally pulls the protesting Gamzee to his chest, then smacks him with the hilt of his katana sword and sends him off to class.

And then we are again jogging slightly to make it on time with the others.

Terezi grins, not unlike a shark, turning her head sideways to meet my view.

"S' that why you guys were late the first day, too? Man, you a fuckin' dick magnet, Tavvy!"

I turn my head slowly so that I am facing away from her, my eyes wide, as Nepeta gives the sassy Pyrope another harsh swat.

"Tere-ziiii! Don't be meeean!"

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

_(Gamzee's POV)_

We arrive at the classroom five minutes later, to find a collection of strangers standing at the front of the classroom, awkwardly shuffling their feet.

A few newcomers were talking to some of their friends in that class, or sitting on desks. I notice a terror of a man next to Nepeta's desk, smiling shyly, perspiration clearly on his forehead. Though his size, not just in height, but in muscle, far surpassed me, he was obviously a sweetie. He was lightly smiling, and fidgeting with his choppy black hair as Nepeta raced over and tackled him to the ground, laughing and wrapping her arms around him excitedly.

I turn, to find that two girls are at the head of the classroom, talking animatedly. Both of them are extremely pretty, one with short white-blonde hair and the other with dark-brown hair that was cropped at the mid-neck and styled into perfection.

I recognize one of them (the dark-haired one) as a girl that always sat in the front row, next to the Peixes Table, but I had never really known her whatsoever, not to mention I didn't even know her name.

Along with the girls, I notice a boy who looks so remarkably like John, I almost go over and ask him what he was doing in our class. But, upon a few moments of uneasy staring, I decide that this strange new boy was _not _the John Egbert I knew.

He looks up from his nervous stare at his own shoes, and blushes, then waves nervously as he sees me looking at him.

I decide to stride over to the kid with the shy smile, and upon approaching him, I take in his appearance. Facial appearance and hair, as well as his glasses were exactly the same as John's, but his large brown eyes heavily contrasted John's blue ones. He was wearing a plain white tee shirt with a green sort of light jacket over it and blue jeans that fit his legs snugly.

He seemed like the laid back and quiet type.

Upon approaching him, I decided to make a new acquaintance, and I begin our first conversation as friendly as possible.

"Uhhh, hey, there, motherfucker. You know what the fuck'z going on in here? N' who're all these new kids?"

He flinched and smiled, looking up at me, clenching his shirt like Tavros did at times, and I felt a rush of affection for the kid.

Looking up at me cheerily, he grinned and motioned with his chin to the new classmates around the room, and while he talked, looking at them, he pointed at them individually.

The Institution just got a bunch of new kids, so we were kicked out of all of all our respective classes. So, we got put in this class, instead. Now you guys have fourteen people instead of ten."

I hmmed, and watched as Tavros sat at his normal seat, and talked to Terezi who was leaning back, while whispering, annoyed about all the new people clogging our class.

Then he directed his finger towards the pretty girl with white hair.

"That's Rose Lalonde. She's going out with Kanaya, over there, so they're bound to talk, I dunno. She's pretty quiet, but she's a good person. By the way..."

He glanced over my shoulder, standing on the tips of his toes, then rested his feet back on the ground again.

"Yep, you have Dave Strider in your class. She's his sister."

I turned, finding a kid sitting in the back of the class, with the same albino hair, and a red shirt. Black shades covered his eyes, and he looked like a pretty chill guy. Then-

"Wait, Strider? Is he Dirk's-"

The kid blushed.

"Uhhh, yeah. Dirk's brother."

I stared at him.

"Wait. What's your name?"

"Ummm, Jake English. Nice to meet you, Gamzee!"

I took his hand somewhat hesitantly, and his strong grip surprised me, as did his cheery and innocent personality.

"Uh...?"

"Oh, uh, Dirk talks about you sometimes, if you were wondering about that... haha..."

I looked up at him.

Wait.

"Uhh, hold it. Are you... uh... dating Dirky, man?"

He cringed and blushed, then precoded to laugh in a stuttering way, almost tripping over his own feet.

"Wha-what? No, we're not dating... Why did you think that...?"

I glance at him amused, one dark eyebrow raised.

And he pouted suddenly, and stomped his foot on the ground.

"No, it's not what you think, Gamzee! We are_ not _dating!"

And then he looked away, a sad expression on his face.

Suddenly I regretted my approach.

"Hey, man. I'm fuckin' sorry. I didn't mean to up n' get you all jacked up like that, Jakey. Just guessin'. Actually, sorry to change the fuckin' subject, but... if you don't mind... could you...?"

He looked up and smiled somewhat gratefully, noting my awkward attempt at forgiveness.

"Yeah..." And here he cleared his throat and resumed his explanations, now pointing at the big guy talking to Nepeta in a somewhat restrained way.

"That... is Equius Zahhak. He has a large stature, and is definitely a dangerous guy. He has a very commanding personality, but you should be fine. He's a pretty adorable guy, but tends to get nervous really easily, in which case, that girl over there, Nepeta is the only one that can calm him down. Dude's got problems, but, eh, don't we all."

He looks at the now pouting Zahhak and smiled warmly, and beams of light from the window flash over his face. I smile, and decided to like this Jake English guy.

But the moment is interrupted by shouting coming from the right of the classroom. Looking over, I am startled to see that it was Aradia, red faced and flustered, her hands on the desk, still sitting halfway in her chair. Staring her down was another girl that looked almost exactly like her, but a version that was wearing an insane amount of red eyeliner and lipstick.

Her hair was curled into a bun, and her style could be interpreted as an "asian hooker." With an extremely low-cut gold and red-patterned dress with a high collar and long sleeves that covered her hands, it wasn't hard to assume. The dress was completed with a sort of red cloth bodice that had a golden dragon snaking its way up the bottom right.

But the situation turns merely comical when Jake laughs and Aradia began yelling at the other to "get out."

"Why are you here?! I don't want to see your face ever again, didn't I tell you that? Now _leave!_"

The hooker just smirked, her red-painted lips tilting up into an amused smirk.

"_Naze watashi ga sarubekideshou ka?"_

Eh?

What was that?

Aradia, however, seemed to understand.

"Because, Damara, you always seem to fuck things up for me! I haven't forgotten about that time with Rufioh, you know!"

"_Mochiron, anata wa sode wa arimasen."_

Her face heated, and fists curled into balls.

My face, along with everyone else's must have been worried, or intimidated; something of the sort, because Jake tapped my shoulders and grinned.

"Don't worry about it. Those two are cousins. They just don't get along. By the way, _that _is Damara Megido. She has a reputation for being kind of... ah, erotic. I hear she got into this place because of some sort of trouble with the _clubbing _industry. A, uh... necrophelia... incident.

I gulped, my eyes wide. _The fuck?!_

All in all, it seemed to me like we had just gained some pretty dangerous new classmates. Dunno about Jake too much, but...

And suddenly a yellow and black whirl zoomed into the classroom, once again crashing into the podium I stood at, and I swore and tripped backwards, and Jake screamed. Kanaya and Rose just looked over, then continued talking about... fashion or something. Knitting, maybe.

This time I got a clean look at exactly what Mituna was riding exactly to be crashing into the classroom that fast, and it was... a yellow skateboard.

Wonderful.

I glance over to Terezi, my disgusted expression probably pretty hilarious, and I walk back to my desk, giving a meaningful glance to Tavros, who smiles at me, a little unnerved, and we turn back to the front of the class where Mituna was straightening his red tie over a black dress shirt with sleeves that were far too long for his slender arms.

He blushed furiously, and fidgeted at the front of the classroom, then, he finally got the fuck to it.

"U-umm, everyone, thethes are going to be your new clathmatethth. They had to tranthfer clatheth, tho... uh... _PLEATHEGETALONGEVERYONEFUCKFUCKFUCK_"

I put a hand to my forehead and laugh outwards in a single breath, and watch in amusement as our new students' expressions vary from annoyance to intimidation to silent disbelief.

And Mituna just stood there, looking angry while repeatedly gnashing his teeth together.

"Th-tho jutht... justht... tthht... thhh... _rrrghhhgoddamnitfuckkkfuck! Jusththth thitt wherever you want to, ththitheadthshths!"_

I hold in the now overwhelming urge to burst out into laughter as everyone hesitantly takes their seats. Equius was already next to Nepeta, directly to my right, and he turned to her, grinning.

Mirroring them, I turn to Tavros, and he smiles sweetly, closing his eyes suddenly and tapping his forehead to mine softly, then pulling away. The Nitram then looks to the front of the class, and I, go back to observing the newer students.

Damara sits directly behind Aradia muttering, _"Fushidarana on'na... Fushidarana on'na... Fushidarana on'na..." _and I see the other Megido work hard to ignore the other.

Jake picks a seat in the back, at a table directly to the right of Dave's table, and he leans over to the silent male, gives a half-hearted grin.

I can't help my intake of breath as the Strider slowly turns to the green-clad idiot, then finally gives the slightest of smiles to the now _overjoyed_ green-clad idiot.

Rose sat next to Kanaya, kicking a sullen boy who had dark circles under his eyes and untidy black hair out of "her" chair.

Suddenly all my attention focused on this boy.

He wore dark clothes. A black sweater with the ends pulled over his small fingers, and black skinny jeans. He had dark-brown eyes, and his hair was shifted over his eyes. Jesus, this kid was really... dark. In a few ways.

But still... something about him unnerved me.

He looked so _familiar!_

And suddenly he meets my gaze, shooting me such a hateful and repulsed glare, that instantly I am struck with the overwhelming need to turn around.

But... I didn't.

I... looked at him, then broke out into a wide grin, and his eyes widen, mouth parts, and his expression becomes one unlike anything I had ever seen. It was hopeful, saddening, and were those his eyes gleaming in delight?

"_Rrrrrghhhhagghhfuck Gamthee turn around pleeeathh! _Why won't anyone listhen to me, damn it?!"

I turn, and gave the crazy teacher a little smile.

"Hey, man, chthill. You don't need to get so worked up over something stupid."

I heard a few stifled giggles, then Mituna instantly began flipping out again.

"Agghhh! I'm not thtupid! _Don't call me thtupid!_ It'th not my faaauult!"

And he hung his head, turned, and started drawing a horrible, yet cutely childish picture of himself on the white board behind us.

He faces us again now, his face sulky, one cheek puffed out in defiance, and under his mess of hair, I can see slight tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Can anyone tholve thith questhtion?"

And he scans the class, looking for hands, and then finally picked at random, seeing no one.

"Karkat! You come up here and anthher thith!"

I turn, swiftly. My heart pumps.

_Karkat?! Wait, what?_

But I find it to be the irritated-looking boy from before.

So _that's _who he reminded me of! But how could be be Karkat? Wasn't he...?

Karkat growled.

"I can't fucking _tholve_ that, you moron. How the hell do you solve a shitty drawing?"

I try to hold in a laugh, but end up snickering along with Terezi and Damara.

Looking back again, I struggle to comprehend.

Karkat wasn't exactly a common name, was it? It couldn't have been that there were _two _Karkats!

So who was the person who had been bringing me pills for three years?

**There you are. You asked for it, so you got it, Yaaay! Romaance! More is soon to come, perverts!**

**_Man_****, I was surprised at how many of you raised the pervert flag, to be honest xD My god. In due time, I shall too, no worries. Nemu and everyone. Ahahaha!**

**By the way, in response to that one Guest who agreed with Nemu, I do know that there are most cert****ainly****no asylums that even come close to how this one operates, I just wanted to have the Institution set to my qualms, that's all~ And yes, there was more than one bed available to the both of them in the nurse's office but, meh. Gotta have my fluff to lead up to some smut.**

**Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! I was feeling so motivated to write this thanks to you guys! TT0TT Thank youuuu~ (sob) I worked hard for you guys!**


	14. Chapter 14

…... …... …... …...

_(Gamzee's POV)_

(AN: I'm sorry, I had writers block, everyone! I apologize to _no_ extent, and today I officially announce today that this crazy fic is back on track! Again, I'm sorry ^ u ^ )

The rest of the day passed me by mercilessly with the all-too haunting thought of the two Karkats. Slumped to the desk, confused, my body lay limp and unfeeling.

I could feel the resonating spark of Tavros' worry beside me, but my churning stomach honestly did not give a damn.

The time dragging endlessly by, my day was only brightened during lunch, when we paid our promised visit to Dirk.

I couldn't hold back a crazy grin once we opened the door to the nurse's office and saw him instantly start doing a sort of happy katana dance in that fuckin' maid dress of his.

I watched, oh so amused, as Tavros joined hands with the dickhead and they spun around, the man radiating with happiness like I had never seen.

As soon as Tavros excused himself to go get lunch, I rose from my seat at the wall, and strode over to the ridiculous Strider.

Turning, the Nitram shot a questioning look my way, but I just waved him off, saying I needed a private word with Dirkboy.

Both of the males looked somewhat put off by this, but Tavros told me he would bring something back for me, and I decided to keep it short.

Dirk scratched the back of his head with a gloved hand somewhat tentatively.

"So... Gamz, what was it exactly that you needed...?"

My gaze intensifies, and I turn my head to face the ground, my hands fidgeting slightly with my dark shirt.

"You know... uh, Vantas, right?"

Dirk looks at me.

"Uh, yeah, what about 'im?"

"Well, this sounds real motherfuckin' stupid, but, you know, uhhhh... there aren't... _two_ of him... are there?"

I hear a little _pffft_, and a short fit of laughter following, which was to be expected.

"Wait, what?! _Two _of him? The hell, dude. What the fuck're you on, 'cause I want some of it."

More laughter.

Sighing in irritated relief, my mouth finds itself tilting into a slightly embarrassed grin.

"Yeah... fuckin' stupid, right? 'Cause, in class today, there was some kid named Karkat," Dirk crosses his arms here and nods slightly, "and the fucker that's been bringin' me pills all this time's named Karkat, too."

And now he looks up here.

"Wait-huh? I thought you said Vantas was bringin' you pills. Ain't no one workin' here named Karkat... Though there _is_ that one little shit named Kankri Vantas... one of his relatives attends this shithole, I know that... yep, yep, don't know who told you his name was _Karkat_..."

And suddenly I can't stop the eruption of goosebumps up my spine.

All this time... how? He told me himself that that was his... _oh. Fuck._

_Fuck!_

My eyes widen, and I instantly slap a hand to my mouth.

Dirk looks at me in worry.

"Gamzee, what the fuck? You're bein' really weird right now, dude."

I look up swiftly, bringing my hand down.

"Yeah, I-i'm fine, but, uhh, when does Kar-Kankri start bringing me pills again? I know he wasn't coming for a while there, on uh... temporary leave, I heard...?"

"Yeah, he was gone for a bit on personal business, or somethin'. And... hmn, I think he'll be back sometime next week, so..."

Grinning again, I hold out a hand, and Dirk smiles, bumping his fist to mine; we pull away.

"Thanks a shitload, motherfucker. I'm still confused about things myself, but I'll get it worked out somehow, 'ya know? Hehe... and, uh, by the way..."

He tilts his head sideways slightly, still smiling, and drawing closer, I bring my voice to a low whisper.

"Heh... What's up with you and English...?"

He shoots back, eyes widening behind his black-tinted glasses and a new pallete of interesting pinks spread over his face.

Twitching muscles deny the words that follow, only making it funnier, and I begin to grip my ribs in laughter.

"N-no! Gamzee-e-e-e! Why are you laughing?! There's nothing between us! Why are you laughi-i-i-inng! God damn it, stop bein' such a fuckass!"

Tavros walks in just as Dirk begins stomping over to me, my defenses lowered; he begins assaulting my sides with skilled fingers, and the burst of laughter that follows has me gripping the wall in defeat. Dirk's mouth stretches into an evil grin, and my pained gasps of "I give up" through spurts of laughter works to no avail.

Nitram looks morbidly confused at the sudden sight that greets his eyes, and sighing, he inhabits my chair, then begins eating the lunch he had brought for me with a huff.

I reach out with a hand, mouth opening slightly, about to call out, then-

A fit of laughter and a battle to work against Dirk's skilled fingers to grasp out, and, _aha!_

I manage to hook my fingers around his little asshole apron, and undoing it, his grip falters momentarily- that's all I need to-

A burst of giggles, and he is instantly being straddled to the ground by me, but soon I am literally falling onto the cocky Strider, trying not to lose my hold on him when he takes my unprotected waist by surprise.

The Nitram just huffs again, and watches us with an amused look on his face, until the bell rings for night classes, which is astoundingly only five minutes later of intense fighting.

Dirk emerges, usually perfectly-sprayed hair a complete mess, and one of his converse shoes missing. On the other hand, my "majestic mane" looks as disheveled as always, shirt was hanging off of one shoulder, and had somehow miraculously been tucked halfway into my pants, as well as my losing both shoes and one sock.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

We left the asshole's office that day in high spirits, and only when Tavros pointed it out did I stop the slight bounce in my step, blushing furiously.

Looking sideways, I notice the Nitram eyeing our two slightly swinging hands with a flushed intensity in his expression.

Swallowing figuratively, I reach my shaking arm sideways slightly, look away in an attempt to make my grab for his hand less obvious, and upon the brushing of our fingers, both of us pull away, faces red and embarrassed.

"S-sorry," I mutter to him, a slight pain jabbing at me in my head.

And pressing a finger to my temple now, looking slightly at fault, I pause in front of the conveniently close bathroom.

"Um, I'm going to stop in here, alright, Tav? I gotta, uh, relieve myself, er... fuck, never mind. Why don't you go on ahead to 'Tuna, already...?"

His face flushes slightly, then he bows, hands on his thighs, and makes me hurriedly promise to be on time, and not get into any trouble.

Watching him run down the hall, my heart does a sort of weak flip.

And shrugging it off, I head into the bathroom, rubbing at the spot on my temple where most of my chronic headaches usually occur.

I splash a bit of water on my hands, then rub my burning forehead, and only do I realize that my face is painted. Looking into the mirror, I see that my hands are almost washed off to see the pale skin underneath, my natural complexion, and my face paint has smeared in a somewhat disturbing fashion in a slanting manner.

Sighing an obscenity, I begin walking over to one of the stalls to get some toilet paper, so hopefully I can clean up some of this shit.

A sudden noise coming from one of the closed stalls suddenly startles me; a low groan.

And suddenly, I cover my mouth with one hand as a stream of laughter bubbles from my mouth.

"Whoa, buddy, you havin' some troubles in there?"

Another groan, louder, and the laughter spilling from my lips only increases, then after a few more seconds, finally dies away, but there are now tears in my eyes.

Rubbing them out fucks up my makeup even more, and I brush past the first stall somewhat wobbily; the door bangs open, as I fall through onto the other side.

"_Fuck-"_

But instead of landing on uncovered legs, or tiled flooring, I hit a sort of bony padding, and the clearly audible noise of _"ooOOf!" _can be heard.

So I fell on some dumbass lying on the ground?

"The _hell're_ you doin'?"

I shoot up off of this freak, knowing one too many wacko who will fuck you up if you dare touch 'em, but coming away, I notice a large smear on my arm.

At first, I think it's a fuck ton of shit, but upon closer inspection- a shudder runs through me and- oh, god it's blood. It's a whole fucking lot of blood all over my fucking arm.

Turning swiftly back to the body, and oh god, it's Karkat fucking Vantas, how fucking amazing can that be?

No, not Kankri, the little motherfucker, but Karkat.

Shit, he's bleeding all over the fucking ground, and there's blood coming from every single goddamned orifice- oh, god...

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit... Holy fuuuuck..."

I am literally flipping my shit right now, but _fuck,_ what am I supposed to do?

I take a heavy breath in, then out.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck... C'mon, Gamzee... Just help him to Dirk's office, already..., fuck, what have I gotten myself into now...?_

I roll him over, look at his pallid face, the sweat and blood running down from his forehead and nose. His chest is sticky, and shirt slashed away, and holy shit are those burn marks? The _hell_?

He winces as I carefully take him up in my arms, and instantly I can feel blood seeping from his dense black sweater onto my skin.

Damn, his skin is burnin' up. So he's feverish, too. How motherfucking perfect.

Swearing, over and over again, watching as his breathing tightens, and legs shift together, I can't help but stare down at the sight I'm currently speculating.

His lips are slightly parted, stained by cherry-red blood, and darkly-lashed eyes are closed slightly. His soft, curly hair hides his features slightly, and upon further inspection I find it is feathery and light to the touch.

His hands grasp my shirt in a totally silent, yet overwhelmingly desperate plea for help.

And all of the sudden, his eyes flutter open for a hint of a second, revealing a startlingly orange-yellow color.

"Ser-"

His eyes flutter closed again.

Huh? Ser... what?

_Fuck_ me! What the _hell_ am I even doing, anyways?

Beginning to curse into the empty air once again, I storm out of the stall, out of the bathroom, pushing past people, hearing many a gasp, and quite a few screams.

And some just stand out of my way, smiling in interest at such a good gossip topic, hurrying right past their fucking eyes.

A minute or two later, and the door to the nurse's office opens with a _bang!_

I hear a scuffle or two coming from the other room.

Then-

"Shit, what is it now, English, I thought I-"

He stops, earlobes slightly red, and then-

He looks down, color fades to a whiter aspect, and he groans before sighing a response to the half dead body lying in my arms.

"Fuck, Gamzee. All the shit seems to happen to you."

Walking over to one of the steel beds, I growl, "Goddamn straight, Dirky."

This time he just sighs, and watches as I carefully set Karkat down on the steel bed that I had so recently inhabited.

A light squishing noise is disgustingly heard before he comes to rest fully onto the metal, and my gaze softens.

Dirk looks over at me, but I keep my sights on the bedridden Vantas.

"Did- uh, did you, um... do this?"

I cant help but let out a low, dangerous purr.

"You really think I did this to the unfortunate lil fucker?"

He clears his throat somewhat tentatively.

"Well, I think that you're most certainly' capable of it."

I sigh defeatedly, then-

"No, nndidn't do this... I found him beat to shit in one of the bathroom stalls, lyin' in a goddamn pool of his own blood. Dunnno who did it. Only thing he said was "ser," but I don't got no fuckin' clue what the hell that means."

Dirk looks back to Karkat.

"Poor guy... God, who ever did this to him got him pretty fuckin' good..."

I sigh heavily, kneeling to the boy.

"Strider, I know this is a lot to ask, but for like, uh, ten minutes or so, can I just take care of 'im, and like, try to coax him into sayin' somethin'?"

Dirk rubs his eyes with a large hand, pushing his pointed glasses up slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever. He needs medical attention, and judging by those wounds I'd say he wouldn't last a day. Just be quick, damn it."

Dirk leaves us, and I decide to cut to the shit I need to know fast.

"Karkat. Karkat, hey, wake up, buddy."

Eyes flutter, but don't open.

"Kar... kat?"

Nothing.

"Fuck."

I bite down on one nail, thinking hard.

But after a moment, a light brushing of skin against my arm has me jumping.

"The-?"

It's Karkat, and a sliver of glowing orange is barely visible.

My heart skips a beat, breathless in the moment.

A faint light blinks on from behind me.

And then, Karkat's rasped, wheezing voice cuts through the silence.

He sounds terrible, congested and sickly.

"M-man does this suck..."

A fit of coughing, a slow dribble of blood, and he rests back against the pillows, eyes closing.

I grit my teeth.

"Well, no fuckin' shit, Vantas."

** -/- **

**Forgive me x100000 and please review to let me know that I still have readers!**


	15. Chapter 15

…... …... …... …... …...

I was sickened. Repulsed to my very core. Thin stomach heaving in nausea as I finally leave the sickening sight of a wrecked human, lying in their own goddamned blood, I don't even offer a goodbye to the pissy Strider.

I found nothing that I had been looking for from Karkat, but I decided that he really did need some medical attention, so I left him to Dirk's care.

I turn a corner, one of my chronic headaches suddenly figuring that it would be real fucking hilarious if it attacked right now. God, I didn't want to go back to class.

I just want to rest, and not think about anything.

I head for my room, and slugging through the cold hallways, dazed and tired as hell, I collapse onto the bed, and fall asleep within a minute or so.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

I'm not sure exactly how much time does pass, but when I wake up, it is from the sound of Tavros opening the door, then stepping into the room with an anxious air that I can just sense from his presence.

"Gamzee...?"

There's ice in his voice. Oh yeah, shit, he's probably mad, isn't he...

Groaning, I scrunch my shoulders up to my body, and yawn loudly before shifting so that I sit up and look at him with a sort of apologetic, sloppy grin.

"I'm sorry, Tav, I got in trouble, just like you thought... Ended up helpin' someone outta some deep shit in that bathroom I was in."

He perks up, then-

Dark, full eyes widen.

"Gamzee, there's blood _all_ over you! What happened? Was it... oh, no. You didn't-"

Without meaning to, I emit a hair-raising growl that completely terrifies even myself.

Tavros freezes, his eyes wide. After a moment, a slowly moving hand comes to shakily grasp up at his left arm. Just like he was doing when he first arrived in this hellhole.

I open my arms, feeling genuinely sorry for scarin' him.

"Shit, Tavbro, c'mere."

He rushes forwards with a look as if he is about to cry, and comes into my arms, resting his body into the crooks of mine perfectly, fitting himself to me.

After a moment of swooping thoughts of carnal desires, I decide to get the hell to it already. I shift sideways, so that he is lying to me, arms tucked under mine, coming up to clench at the sheets. His legs are loosely straddled around my thighs, his head is rested into my lower neck, dark fluffy hair nuzzling warmly.

I give a short sigh of contentment, and am about to make the final move of pulling the blankets over us, when I hear quiet sniffling, and little wet drops upon my skin. Reaching up both hands, I set one at his lower head, softly rubbing and shifting the hair there, and the other hand was brought to his back, at his waist and rested there.

His mouth opens, and Tavros finally begins to speak.

"Ga... gamzee... I'm sorry... I don't understand this at all... You're keeping something from me, aren't you? B-but, I'm not mad... And... sometimes I'm sca-scared that you're going to hu-hurt me again... And I... don't want you to change..."

My eyes widen, lips part wonderfully, heart brightens, at these words that he is emitting.

What? What?

"Gam-gamzee-e-e-e... I'm-"

He looks up at me, and god is it fucking clichéd but I actually forget to fucking breathe again for a second. Like wow I actually don't remember to do what keeps me living through each new pathetic day.

But damn.

His thin eyebrows are turned into little u's over his sort brown eyes, shining from the obnoxious amount of tears in them. His eyelashes are long and dark, cascading. Soft dark-brown hair is somewhat ruffled, and his full lips are turned into a little pout.

His black shirt has twisted slightly, and a little peek of milky chestnut skin is hinted to your eye. His over-jacket has already come down around his shoulders.

Fuckfuckfuck I'm not going to last long at all, am I?

Nope.

Already I can't resist giving myself another taste of those wonderful lips. He emits a nice squeak of surprise, and wow I have never felt my heart beat and jump this fast; it's actually kind of amazing.

I suck on his tongue, using my canines as sharp clamps, and his head is actually pushed back slightly from my tilt. A rattling intake of breath as I pull away, his face really pink at his cheeks.

"G-god..."

Damn, I didn't mean to make my voice that low, or with that growl on the edge of it.

But, nope-

"Gahm...z-zee... mo...mo...re..."

Fuuuuuckkkk-

My hands are brought down to clasp at his upper waist, squeeze the shirt there.

A sort of half-squeal, half-sort-of moan comes from his mouth when I move to his neck, mouth lolling unconsciously open, and canines exposed.

A prick onto his skin and a sharp and quavery inhale is sounded above me. Squealing slightly, when my hot tongue mushes to the skin there, his breathing gets even more fucked up, when he grabs the sheets by my head, clenching his fingers as hard as he can.

_Shit_, I'm really goddamned hard already. God, I bet he can feel it, can't he?

My stomach squirms.

Or course he can. He's shifting like crazy; if you can feel it dragging on his stomach, so would he.

Damn, you have to pause for a second.

That friction is really nice, fuck.

Tavros exhales, and quivers for a second before stopping his movements.

I let out a low breath of air that I had been holding in, my limbs already relaxing to his.

"Shi-shit... What the hell was that, Tav...?"

I hear a small little breath of laughter from above me, and my stomach jumps a bit.

"Uhm, Gamzee... I just... thought that, well, since I've been here... I've caused you a whole lot of stress... And... well, I guess you needed to relax in some way or another, but I ended up going a bit too far, I think..."

And then, my chest expanding slightly, we both can't help but break into laughter, hugging each other tight as the unstoppable mirth flowed through the room.

In fact, the euphoria in that moment distracts us so much, we don't even notice the door opening, figure appearing, signaling the start of some real fucked-up shit.

Beams of light catch my eye, I swear, sitting up, Tavros tumbling off of me, and I stare at the doorway, eyes struggling to adjust to the harsh beige lights.

Then, finally, a perfect, yet taller copy of Karkat appears.

Welp, it's Kankri. And it looks like he's standing with someone new. In fact, a few new people.

Fuuuuuck me.

I decide to play it rough. I've changed since bein' the weak lil' shit that got fucked around with. That bastard ain't got nothin'.

"Hey, look, Kankri, the little fuck's back. How did your "personal business" trip play out for 'ya?"

Tavros looks up at me with worried eyes.

"But Gamzee...?"

Kankri stares at me with a curled lip, then sighs, looking like it couldn't be helped.

"Well, I suppose you were bound to find out eventually, but I'm surprised you didn't find out beforehand. I mean, he was in your class this whole time... I guess this tells us more about your social life, hmmn?"

Growling, I back off a little bit.

A few moments pass then,

"What the fuck you want?"

He smirks, showing off a peek of teeth.

"I'll keep this short, so..."

He turns, and gestures for the other two figures to move forwards slightly.

It's two girls, both with an air of "I'm better than everyone, so shut the fuck up and deal with it."

One has lower-waist length black hair and large circular glasses around clear blue eyes that spell danger. The left lens is blocked out, looking like an eye patchy sort of thing. She's wearing a black overcoat and dark blue skinny jeans, with converse. Yeesh. What a weirdo.

The other one is worse. She has thin white glasses and neck-length curly blue-dyed hair and a sort of blue diva dress that spikes at the ends and has a black belt around the waist. Completing this flamboyant outfit is white knee socks and Mary-jane esque red shoes.

Wow, I mean jesus fuck. What the hell is this?

Kankri looks at my disbelieving face in triumph, then takes the one with the blue hair and grips her by the crook of her arm, pulling the girl to his body.

Disgusted, I shift back slightly.

"This fine lady is Aranea Serket. She'll be your new roommate, while Vriska over there will room with Tavros from now on."

We look at each other, eyes wide, and suddenly I wish that I really had killed the Vantas beforehand.

And Vriska? Wasn't she the one who stole Terezi from me? Well, it's not like roommates always have to be in the same class...

Clapping his hands, our attentions are captured once more.

"Go on, get packed, Gamzee. We don't have all year, and you need to be shown to your new room. Tavros, help Vriska get unpacked."

Growling in annoyance, I look up to the mocking smile of Aranea Serket, who is gripping the red sweater at Kankri's chest in obvious adoration.

Great. Just fucking great.

**(AN: Er, ohmygod. I did not plan anything in this chapter, but okay? So- an announcement. For the next chapter there will be a special in Sollux's POV. Don't worry, after that, we will have reverted back to the main plot and I promise you lots of interesting things will be happening, good and bad)**


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